The Shack- Part 1

“Discernment is not simply a matter of telling the difference between what is right and wrong; rather it is the difference between right and almost right.” -Charles Spurgeon

I have finally taken the time to read William P. Young's novel, "The Shack", and have been working on re-reading sections of it for further analysis and research. I'm sure I'm "behind the times" when it comes to this book as it was released over a year ago and has slowly but surely risen to acclaim from recordings artists to pastors to people on the street. I have heard about it from many different friends, family members and more recently, several people within church settings discussing it's transformational qualities and profound implications.  Randy has asked me to put a "review" of sorts together as he is starting a blog for the youth and their families at our church and would like to include a section on books, music and media.  Since I have finished the entire book and can comment in a more educated manner, I agreed...what have I gotten myself into, right?

First and foremost I'd like to share that I have been working on and praying for a more discerning mind and heart these last several months. While the "debater" in me finds causal bantering and discussion enjoyable and thought-provoking, there is nothing enjoyable about discovering the many fallacies of our age. The more I hunger to study and grow in my relationship and worship of God, the more I am acutely aware of what Paul talks about in II Timothy 4- "For the time is coming when people will not endure sound teaching, but having itching ears, they will accumulate for themselves teachers to suit their own passions and will turn away from listening to the truth and wander off into myths." All this to say- what does this have to do with The Shack? Probably more than one realizes. 

I've read many different reviews on this book, and had several discussions about it's themes and teachings as well. Instead of spending a lengthy amount of time dissecting each specific sentence and theological viewpoint, I am going to try to stick mainly to broad themes...though even in broad terms- there much to say about this popular and ever-controversial novel. For the sake of time, and to protect my brain from exploding (!), I am going to divide the review into 5 sections: 

1.  The Trinity
   
2.  Submission
   
3.  Forgiveness
   
4. Potpourri of Problems
   
5. Why we want The Shack to be Real and Conclusion
   

Eugene Peterson says in his glowing endorsement, “When the imagination of a writer and the passion of a theologian cross-fertilize the result is a novel on the order of “The Shack.” This book has the potential to do for our generation what John Bunyan’s “Pilgrim’s Progress” did for his. It’s that good!” When a novel has a statement like this highlighted on the front cover, it definitely peaks one's interest. The list of endorsers includes such an array of other characters- Michael W. Smith, Wynnona Judd....Kathie Lee Gifford? Can a book really be THIS good? I'm not a decorated theologian, but I have a brain and a heart for God's truth. Let's reflect on the Shack and find out if it's actually worth its weight. 

Some Pre-Review Notes: 

Author's Biography- A Background Check

When I finished reading the book, I immediately went to the website noted in the back of the book- theshackbook.com. The website isn't terribly elaborate, but there was a link to Young's personal blog and I wanted to get more background on him. The tile post of his blog Windrumors, is "You are Welcome Here". Knowing that the Shack has been a polarizing book for so many, the title definitely came off to me as a white flag, as if to say, "Critics vent elsewhere". I'll elaborate on why this struck me in this way a bit later...

Based on his bio, it's clear that Young has had a very full and long journey in life. Starting out as an MK in the mountains of New Guinea, he speaks of his dad being in the ministry and many moves and many jobs. Though he doesn't elaborate much on his childhood here, it is obvious that these experiences shaped his faith as he states, "For each of us, where and how we grew up plays a foundational role in our sense of ‘normal’, and only when we begin to experience the ‘bigness and diversity’ of the world are we tempted to evaluate our roots."  Point taken. If this is the case with Young, it would be good for any reader of the Shack to spend some time analyzing his history and background to get an idea of where he is coming from in this novel. 

Young shares that his "time is spent loving the people that are a part of my life. I am not connected, or a part, or a member of, or involved inside any sort of organization or movement anywhere. The truth is that I doubt anyone would want me. From my perspective that is a very positive thing… for both of us." I have a difficult time wading through some of these statements...and I'll explain why a bit later. For now, if you don't already know, Young seems like a fairly normal "Joe Schmoe" that just happened to write a book- a janitor with 6 kids just trying to live a loving life....so why all of the fuss? 

Fictional Facts or Factual Fiction?

Almost every time I have spoken with people about The Shack, it seems like the phrase, "Let's not forget, it's just a fictional novel" seems to surface... in my case, this seems especially true of Shack Defenders over Shack Attackers. I personally have a difficult time understanding how theology and fiction can so easily "cross-fertilize" as Peterson says. Admittedly, I don't read a great deal of Christian fiction, but not one famous or credible "cross-fertilized" example pops into my head. I have also heard people liken The Shack to allegorical novels- case in point, "Pilgrims' Progress", "The Lion the Witch and the Wardrobe", and even "Lord of the Rings" once. 

The tricky part about The Shack, is though it is indeed a "fictional novel", Young supposedly wrote this book for his kids to explain his theology... that's just the problem. He is using the story to explain his theology and belief system. An allegory is defined as "n. a form of extended metaphor, in which objects, persons, and actions in a narrative, are equated with the meanings that lie outside the narrative itself. The underlying meaning has moral, social, religious, or political significance, and characters are often personifications of abstract ideas as charity, greed, or envy. Thus an allegory is a story with two meanings, a literal meaning and a symbolic meaning. --Webster"  

The Shack is definitely NOT an allegory, and thus, not exactly comparable to these other books. As Tim Challies noted in his book review, “…because of the limitations of the genre, it is sometimes difficult to really know what an author means by what he says. There is often some questions as to what comes from the author and what comes from the characters." In my view, the Shack is Young's personal version of Systematic Theology in story form. The other tricky part of Young's writing is that he makes deciphering his theology challenging and too vague at times. It doesn't help that there are hardly any scripture references in any part of the book which makes his points even more unstable and questionable.

Keeping all that I have already shared in mind, one can imagine that reading a book like the Shack is no easy task. This isn't beach reading by any means. I would have a difficult time relating to anyone who can read it and not be challenged by the theologically saturated dialogue. Is the theology that Young communicates through his characters really...true? My answer?...Yes...but mostly NO with a capital N. In the following sections, I'll try attempt to explain why.

Deception Detective

The Shack contains so many interesting sentences and word choices, it would take days to thoroughly sift through everything to come up with a well-rounded critique. As a mama of 2- I don't have that kind of time. If my girls weren't awesome nappers, I wouldn't be writing this review as I "speak"....and on a side-note, this "review" took SEVERAL naps to complete:) I will touch on the main theological teachings I feel are unbiblical and finish up with a few other related thoughts on the book, author and society. 

1. The Trinity

One cannot read The Shack and not walk away with some interesting thoughts about the author's portrayal of the Trinity- God the Father, God the Son, and God the Holy Spirit. While some are quick to drop the novel because of its portrayal of God the Father (Papa) as a woman of African-American descent, Jesus as a Middle-eastern man with a "big nose" and The Holy Spirit, an Asian woman/mist named Sarayu, I tried to give the author the benefit of the doubt here. Some argue that the 2nd Commandment forbids graven images of God, but others would argue that God did indeed choose to identify Himself as a "Father" (male) throughout the Bible and The Shack is only using alternate images due to the main character's (Mack) "daddy issues". 

Lets just say that we can move beyond this, though admittedly, I'm not crazy about the author's choice here. Young makes many references to the relationship that exists between the Trinity through various conversations between the characters. One conversation in particular completely tears down the idea that there is any kind of order or hierarchy among the trinity. According to “Papa,” 

"…we have no concept of final authority among us, only unity. We are in a circle of relationship, not a chain of command or ‘great chain of being’ as your ancestors termed it. What you’re seeing here is relationship without any overlay of power. We don’t need power over the other because we are always looking out for the best. Hierarchy would make no sense among us. Actually, this is your problem, not ours."

This sentiment easily appeals to our flesh and is great news for anyone dealing with authority issues. Scripture is clear that hierarchy DOES in fact exist among the Trinity. Though fully equal and fully God, God sent His Son (John 3:16) to do His will. Jesus shows his obedience and respect to the Father's will over and over again (see John 5:30, John 10:15 and the Garden of Gethsemane to name a few), and in John 15, Jesus promises to send the Holy Spirit. 

Papa continues, "We carefully respect your choices, so we work within your systems even while we seek to free you from them". Young's portrayal as hierarchy as a man-made adaptation is like throwing the baby out with the bathwater. God Himself ordained unique hierarchies in the world as a reflection of Himself--one could even call it a "circle of relationship to use Young's words...But, like everything else, these hierarchies are infected by sin. Sin is what causes marriages to fall a part, not the God-ordained structure of marriage itself. Rebellion against the beauty and uniqueness of roles within relationship is what drives people a part each and every day.

The word "hierarchy" contains a negative conation for most people. It obviously carries this weight with Young as the characters in the novel claim it as being, "ghastly" and "such a waste". Another point Young seems to imply is a seeming separation or disconnect within the idea of hierarchy. "We created you, the human, to be in face-to-face-relationship with us, to join our circle of love." The idea set forth here is that if one person has authority, or fulfills a different role within the circle, there could be no love or real relationship. Again, the Bible refutes this sentiment over and over again and I submit that this is a theological choice the author makes based upon his own past and experiences. If one has the view that authority equals subsiquent slavery, this picture of "everyone is in the same circle with no distinction" would be extremely appealing. 

These are the moments when a face to face discussion with Young himself would come in very handy. Based upon Young's bio and many negative references to Seminary, Sunday School and organized religion in general throughout the novel, it makes one want to delve deeper in Young's personal story so as to understand what he is communicating in The Shack. Since this is not likely to happen any day soon... I'm left to speculate. 

One cannot discuss hierarchy without discussing roles and submission, which will lead to Part 2 later this week....hopefully ;) In the meantime, I welcome comments and thoughts on this very hot topic.

How Deep the Father's Love for Us

How deep the Father's love for us,

How vast beyond all measure

That He should give His only Son

To make a wretch His treasure

How great the pain of searing loss,

The Father turns His face away

As wounds which mar the chosen One,

Bring many sons to glory

Behold the Man upon a cross,

My sin upon His shoulders

Ashamed I hear my mocking voice,

Call out among the scoffers

It was my sin that held Him there

Until it was accomplished

His dying breath has brought me life

I know that it is finished

I will not boast in anything

No gifts, no power, no wisdom

But I will boast in Jesus Christ

His death and resurrection

Why should I gain from His reward?

I cannot give an answer

But this I know with all my heart

His wounds have paid my ransom 

(Lyrics- S.Townsend)

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A friend of mine used to have a plethora of books in her powder room. The books ranged from gossip magazines to other light reading. I always looked forward to excusing myself to "powder my nose" so I could spend a few blissful minutes alone reading books and or magazines that I, more than likely, did not own myself. (As a mom of 2 girls ages 3 and under, I'll take what I can get!). 

My friend always had a stash of the "Chicken Soup for the Soul" books on hand. They have so many versions now, it boggles the mind: Chicken Soup for the Teacher's Soul, Chicken Soup for the Mother's Soul, Chicken Soup for guys named Bob who have estranged Aunts name 'Beverely'... Ok, maybe not the last one, but you get the point! I remember when these books first came out, they were all the rage. I could p-shhaw them to you now, but I would be lying if I said that I think the books are cheesy and pointless. Some of the stories ARE a bit out-there...but a few of them have stuck with me. 

One that stands out to me is the story of a mom who walked in on her toddler hanging over the edge of her baby sister's crib during baby's nap time. The mom, though compelled to rush in so the toddler wouldn't disturb the baby, decided instead to stay behind the half-cracked door and watch what was unfolding. The toddler was whispering to her little sister who was staring up at her with bright eyes. When the mom was finally able to hone in on what the toddler was saying in hushed tones, she caught her breath...The little girl whispered, "Baby, what does God look like? Do you remember, because I'm forgetting...."

I've read it a few times, and each time I read it, something always catches in my throat. Maybe because I can actually imagine stumbling upon my own girls in a similar scene, or maybe because, sometimes....I forget too. Though I wouldn't rely on this story as a sort of doctrinal belief about where and if we exist prior to life on earth, the story has always driven home the idea that it doesn't matter if we know God... there are many times, too many times in our lives, that we forget that we know Him. Life happens- we are here on earth, making decisions, working jobs, having relationships, experiencing struggles, joys, sorrows and yet- where is God? 

The truth is, God is here. Because of our fallen state, we are separated from the very lover of our souls- our Creator, our Redeemer, our Friend. The utter separation of sin leaves us in a pretty sad state. Sure, we can scrape ourselves together, try to pretend that education, careers, parenting, friendships and other distracting things are "enough"...but who are we kidding? When life slows down, or heaven forbid, tragedy strikes, we realize, we are alone. Don't get me wrong, I love Randy, and I love my children...but there are times when life slows just enough to remember that if I didn't have them in my life---what would I have? We weren't meant to live in isolation. Sin has created it. This very fact makes God's grace so amazing. We are destined to live an eternal life of separation and suffering...unless we believe, repent and surrender to the one who has made a way for us....the one who SO loved us, that He gave us His Son. 

I have thought of this a lot lately. Here we are, removed from our families and all that we have known and enjoyed over the last several years of our lives...and I'm struggling. I LOVE being home with my girls, but we don't have family here to really enjoy them ALONGSIDE of us. This new stage of life has been extremely difficult for me to navigate. Perhaps I was born to live in an Amish community, or even grow up in China where generations live together in one house.... or maybe not, but I can definitely see the appeal! We live in a society where we are told to "be all that we can be" and be whatever we want to be when we "grow up". It's no wonder people change their majors an average of 3 times during the course of their college years. Aren't we all longing for identity, love, relationship...that place to belong? 

Perhaps the identity that we are really struggling to find isn't who we are in the "world", what kind of job we are supposed to have, etc....but a creation of God- an image-bearer who, by Jesus' sacrifice, has an eternal identity. We long to love and be loved in return.

Have you ever experienced loss or sorrow, or disappointment? If we, in our fallen human state, experience earthly pains, trials, etc...if we are able to experience human love- love for friends, family, souses and children, imagine how God our Father views us?

I John 4 reminds us: 9 In this the love of God was made manifest among us, that God sent his only Son into the world, so that we might live through him. 10 In this is love, not that we have loved God but that he loved us and sent his Son to be the propitiation for our sins.

How easy it is to forget this. God loves US. Because of His love for us, we are able to know and abide in Him. It's not by merit, by works or anything else. This is really what is meant by the term "Amazing Grace". His love and grace are what ENABLE us to love Him to begin with. No more pain, no more sorrow, no more isolation...no more sin.

Randy went to a Pastor's Conference last spring in Cleveland. It was hosted at Parkside church in Cleveland under the ministry of Allistair Begg. The theme was "Preaching the Gospel to Yourself Everyday". What a concept. Pastors, of all people, preaching to...themselves?? It is SO true! We need to be reminded DAILY of who God is, what He has done for us, and who we are in relation to these facts. This is what makes attending church so very important. We need to hear the Word of God preached. We need the Gospel- the TRUE Gospel presented, and we need to be amidst a loving community of believers who can REMIND us of these things. 

I haven't arrived. I feel like I am just now scratching the surface, even after 28 years of life, most of which was spent in church and christian school. Have you forgotten? Let God speak to you through His Word today. Call up a friend or loved one and remind them of what we are living for and Who made that possible. 

If My Words Abide in You

John 15:1 “I am the true vine, and my Father is the vinedresser. 2 Every branch in me that does not bear fruit he takes away, and every branch that does bear fruit he prunes, that it may bear more fruit.3 Already you are clean because of the word that I have spoken to you. 4 Abide in me, and I in you. As the branch cannot bear fruit by itself, unless it abides in the vine, neither can you, unless you abide in me.5 I am the vine; you are the branches. Whoever abides in me and I in him, he it is that bears much fruit, for apart from me you can do nothing. 6 If anyone does not abide in me he is thrown away like a branch and withers; and the branches are gathered, thrown into the fire, and burned. 7 If you abide in me, and my words abide in you, ask whatever you wish, and it will be done for you. 8 By this my Father is glorified, that you bear much fruit and so prove to be my disciples. 9 As the Father has loved me, so have I loved you. Abide in my love. 10 If you keep my commandments, you will abide in my love, just as I have kept my Father's commandments and abide in his love. 11 These things I have spoken to you, that my joy may be in you, and that your joy may be full.

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

This past weekend, Randy and I attended a "Connection Seminar" at our church. The Seminar is supposed to serve 2 purposes: give thorough detail on the beliefs, structure and ministries at the church, as well as map out what it means and what is required for those wishing to become members. We figured that it was about time that we took this seminar as we are staff members and have been attended the church for 6 months now. 

Everything was extremely organized and orderly. Each of us received a nice packaged booklet containing documents, belief statement, charts, graphs, etc. As the leadership began presenting all of the information, it became painfully obvious that there were many people in the room that still had a lot of questions, not necessarily about the church, but more, about their own salvation and faith. 

We read the above scripture from John. The NIV translation uses the word "Remain" instead of the word "Abide" as shown above. This word really disturbed one of the ladies in the room. What does it mean to "remain in Christ"? She asked if she didn't read her bible, or if he didn't pray X amount of times, if she was still "remaining" in Christ. It became clear that she had a skewed view of her own salvation and probably needs a healthy serving of  grace and growth with a side of eternal security. She went on to speak about being involved in church, and it seemed that she basically has a works-based view of salvation. 

The leadership had a difficult time answering her questions and pointing her to supportive scripture and resources. Everyone was squirming in their seats as an answer was given, but not an articulate definitive answer laying out the basic precepts of the Gospel. I was a little disturbed. These are basic questions that I think a lot of people have about Christ and faith. Why wasn't the answer on the tip of our tongues? Why was pertinent and meaningful scripture ready to fall out of our mouths at any moment to provide clarity, encouragement and peace?

As the seminar went on, a great deal of time was spent looking at the structure of the church and all of the many opportunities that one could get involved with once they were members. One of the requirements for membership is Baptism-- either a previous Baptism, or a public one at our church. A nice woman next to me immediately raised her hand and asked if Baptism had to be a "public proclamation". She went on to say that she thought that one's relationship with Jesus was "personal" and that it didn't seem to make sense that people would be forced to be Baptized publicly. 

Here again, we had a situation where someone, who is sincerely wanting to understand, sincerely wanting to be taught, and no one had a definitive biblically saturated answer for her.... Another passage talks about being "blameless" before the world. She asked about this wording as well as the word "blameless" seemed to indicate "perfection" in her mind. Was she supposed to be "perfect" in order to be a good testimony to the world? No one had an answer ready...in fact, one of the leadership awkwardly turned to Randy and said, "Randy, could you elaborate on this for us?" Thankfully, Randy had an answer waiting- (Thank the Lord).... the word "blameless" in the NIV is translated as "holy, righteous, or set-apart" in other bibles- Not perfect, but the idea leading a life above reproach. 

I share this story not as a dig against anyone in our church, but more as a wake-up call to us all. Is God's Word really a "lamp unto our feet and a light unto our paths?". Perhaps technology has really diminished our need to read or memorize. All we have to do is go to Google and voila! The answer we need! Do we really think that just because we once said a "prayer" that we are all set, and have no need to grow and learn? Our theology is "all set" and we're fine. I submit that the answer to these questions is a loud "NO!". If you had to lay out a statement of faith of of your own- what would it look like?

Even Jesus Himself had to learn, study and mediate on God's Word. Luke 2:52 says that "Jesus increased in wisdom and in stature and in favor with God and man." There is no doubt that Jesus Himself studies the Scriptures. What was Jesus' defense in the wilderness when Satan came to tempt Him? God's WORD. Every response Jesus gave to Satan in this hour of weakness was straight from scripture. 

Randy and I have recently discovered the ministry of John Piper. He is a Pastor/Author/Theologian in Minneapolis, MN. He is a respected for His Biblical preaching and teaching, and we have been blessed through sermons, books and blogs. He recently gave a sermon of the same title, "If My Words Abide in You". Click the link to be taken to a page where you can either read his outline or listen/watch the podcast. I would HIGHLY recommend getting a hot cup of something yummy, and taking the time to sit down and take in this message. I have listen to it upwards of 3 complete times now. 

Here are some highlights from this message to wet your appetite:

8 Reasons memorizing scripture is essential for every Christian: (MS=Memorizing Scripture)

1. MS makes meditation possible when you aren't able to tangibly read the Bible, and it brings deeper understanding.

2. MS strengthens our faith, and faith comes from hearing the Word.

3. MS shapes our view of the world and conforms our minds to God's viewpoint.

4. MS helps scripture to be readily accessible to overcoming temptation and sin.

5. MS guards our minds and makes it easier to detect error- and the world has MUCH error.

6. MS helps us hit the devil in the face with a force he can't resist. 

7. MS provides the strongest and sweetest words for ministering to other in need.

8. MS provides the matrix for fellowship with Jesus. He talks to us in the Word, and no where else. We can talk back through prayer. 

The Bible is a BIG DEAL. 

We read the Bible so it can TAKE ROOT and bear the fruit of faith and holiness. We don't memorize or know the Word because we are like the Pharisees who know every Word by rote, but have not the Spirit in their hearts. The Word should be at home in our heart because of our belief and the work of the Spirit.

Jesus, in talking with the Jews, spoke out about having the Word in our hearts in John 5: 45 But because I tell the truth, you do not believe me. 46 Which one of you convicts me of sin? If I tell the truth, why do you not believe me? 47 Whoever is of God hears the words of God. The reason why you do not hear them is that you are not of God.”

May this NEVER be said of us. May the Word to be us as "Honey from the comb". May we be ready "in season and out" to proclaim Christ to others. We don't always have to go searching for those that need to hear....just look to your right and to your left each Sunday morning.... look in the mirror.... The mission field is all around is. May 2009 be the year we are transformed by the very Words of God and may the Spirit grant us clarity and courage to proclaim it.

S my name is Sophie

It's hard to believe that Sophia is 6 1/2 months now. With Wyndham at such a busy and active age, I feel like I woke up one day and Sophie was 4 months...then 5, and so on. I am so thankful that have been able to stay home with the girls thus far. Thou

gh I feel the day to day exhaustion of being "on my own" and away from family help, I am having a great time having a front row seat to these amazing creatures who are growing up before my very eyes. 

Since we now live in the Windy City and have had limited contact with close friends and family these last several months, I thought I would give you some details of our little Sophie's history, personality, quirks and habits. 

1. Sophie made her appearance exactly 2 weeks before her due date, and nearly was born in our mini-van on the way to the hospital!

(Sophie- 4 hours old)

2. When we were leaving the hospital after Sophie was born, an elderly man was waiting outside the entryway at the hospital. We had this doll (see below) tucked in next to her in the car seat. Randy went to get the car to pick us up. In the process of getting our van loaded, the man looked down into the car seat and said, "Oh look. Twins!" His wife elbowed him hard in the gut and said, "One of those is a doll Reggie!". He did a double take ju

st to make sure:) I had to laugh that this man would mistake a doll with thread for eyes with a human being....not to mention, why would we have 2 babies in one car seat??? :)

(Sophie at 3 months)

3. Sophie is a CHUNK. She has dimples on her cheeks, her hands, her buns....her dimples have dimples! Though she is still only in the 50th percentile for height and weight, she has about 3 chins and 5 leg rolls...per leg. Because of the absolute adorableness of this trait, I spend most of my  days smooching her checks and doing half-naked dances in front of the bathroom mirror....Sophie....not me =)

(Fat Baby in a little hat....)

4. She has been making babbling noises since she was 3 weeks old. All 

babies make noises of course, but it seems that she was born talking....could it be she will take after mommy?? By 5 weeks she was saying "deedeedee dadadadada and neenees".... WAY earlier than Wyn.... at least from what I can remember! She also makes her noises with vocal inflection, so you really get a sense she is telling you something specific. Can't wait to see how that trait unfolds.

5. She has "BaBa-dar"...Bottle Radar. If there is a bottle in the room, full, empty, in the dish drying rack- she will spot and and yell "Ahhhh Ahhhh" until we either move it out of sight, or oblige her with a warm meal. She is like a baby bird, wiggling around with her mouth open, leaning in trying to find the source of food. Very intense...and hilarious.

6. Her nicknames include the following: Sophie Sue, Stinky Sue, Soph, Fifi, and Chunky Soup...(see #2)

7. Sophie loves LOVES loves Wyndham. She is fa

scinated by her. No matter how loud, crazy or dangerous Wyndham is acting around her, Sophia finds her to be HILARious. Thankfully, Wyndham has been great with her up to this point and at has been such a pleasure watching their sisterhood unfold. 

(Christmas 2008)

8. Due to her sturdy tree trunk legs, she has been able to stand up with assistance for months. 

9. She has become a "spitter" like Wyndham. Record so far: 4 clothing changes in 15 minutes....not including mine! So sad. She didn't start until around 4-5 months, but it's in full swing now! 

10. She is a thumb-sucker. She has never liked binkies.... ever. Somew

here around 3 months, she found her thumb and it has been in her mouth ever since. She actually hooks her pointer finger over her nose while she's sucking on it. I think it's adorable, but have begun to worry that it will be harder for her to give 

up than a binkie would be...you can't throw your thumb away! Our doctor has assured us that's it's too early to worry...just yet....

(Sophie at 3 months)

11. She can roll over, prop herself up on her hands and elbows, sit up

 for a bit with no assistance (though about 99% of the time she ends up puking when she's in this position and then toppling over INTO it ;0), stand up with assistance, bounce and hop on her legs and feet and suck her toes...her 2nd favorite thing to have in her mouth. Man that's flexibility!

12. She has a bald spot on the back of her head. She's had it since she was a few weeks old, and even though she sleeps between her back and her side, it's like the Sahara desert back there...nothing grows. 

13. All of the other toddlers in the nursery line up to "rub Sophie's head" each Sunday morning. It's this weird ritual that several of the nursery workers have told me about... someone likened it to "rubbing a Buddha belly"...maybe it brings them all good luck?! 

14. She was born with bright WIDE attentive eyes. When Randy and I talk to each other, we've noticed that she looks at us back and forth depending on who is talking. We've literally stopped mid-conversation only to realize that someone has been quietly hanging on our every word.

I can't wait until she starts talking so I can hear what's going on in that brain of hers! 

15. No teeth have appeared yet, but I can see the beginning of 2 slits on her lower gums. I can't wait until she finally gets some teeth, because the way she acts around our dinner table, you'd think the girl wanted to eat steak!

This is just a small snapshot of our newest little member. She brings us all much joy. Not one day has passed when I haven't raced Randy to open her nursery door in the morning only to be greeted by her cute, dimply, gummy smile. We hope you can meet her soon!

Oh...and I almost forgot. She now HATES the bouncy seat. If I forget to strap her in so I can run across the room to do something, this is how I find her.... I think it's about time to retire the chair!

O Me of Little Faith

A couple of weeks ago, Randy and I were itching to get out of our snow-encased home and longing to go to one of our favorite spending-time-together places- Borders bookstore. I love good books, good chai and being together so this was a fun prospect. As of late, it has been easier and easier to go to Borders as a family and actually enjoy our time together there. Randy and I each pick out a few selections we're interested in, grad a cup o' joe, and head to the children's section where Wyndham busies herself with her own book selection. If Sophie is fed and content, we may even get a whole blissful hour in which to enjoy the luxury of being out of the house all together. 

Call it the terrible threes, call it the result of Christmas vacation, call it what you will...but Wyndham has been giving us a run for our money lately in the behavior department. Sassiness, flat out defiance, rudeness, throwing fits... you name it. Three has been such a jumble of wonderful frustration, it will definitely be one for the history books.

On this particular day, Wyndham was being her typical self-- dilly-dallying around the house while we scrambled to pack bags, bundle bodies, scrape cars and get out of the house before it was pointless to venture out at all. It was one of those days where she kept conveniently morphing into various jungle animals to escape putting on her clothes all while getting every baby blanket out of Sophie's dresser in which to create her jungle home. This of course, is taking place while the car is running in the driveway, Soph is in her car seat wailing because she's not in a moving car and Randy, headphones engulfling his hearing, is absorbed in Ipod-land. I have successfully directed hundreds of students over the years, but do you think I can get my family of four out of the door on time for anything? It's next to impossible!

Spousal communication is so important when making these family outings together. Especially to a place like Borders where I could easily get sucked in for hours. We have to remember that we have kids with us and we must set our expectations very--VERY low. Maybe we will just get coffee and play with Wyn in the kids section on a particular day, though casting a wistful gaze at the endless shelves of books that will have to wait a few more years to read. This day was different in that I was looking for a particular book for someone and needed some alone time in which to comb the store and find it. Randy graciously obliged me and took kid-duty in the children's section while I got to wander the store for a few minutes and savor the quiet.

Borders isn't my favorite store to browse for good Christian literature, but I always breeze through the section anyway. I picked up Lee Strobel's classic, "A Case for Faith" and flipped through it a bit. A family in our church has a student who is claiming to be an atheist, and his parents are trying to convince him to read some books with them that might shed some light on some of the things he is struggling with. My mind immediately went to our present situation here in IL. We have been pretty financially strapped these past few months as we have been trying to cover our mortgage back in OH while also covering our rent here. Every month has been a test of faith to see how it will come together. By God's grace, we have paid our bills and haven't missed a meal, but it has definitely been a daily giving-over-to-the- Lord. As I pondered these things, I began to think of how, for the first time in my life, I've really had to live by faith and not by sight. I have been really reflecting on giving over my whole self, my hopes dreams, etc. to God's will and to the furthering of the Gospel....lost in my thoughts, I finally snapped to and realized I should rescue Randy and give him some browsing time too.

I made my way back to the kids section and waded through the enormous pile of books Wyndham had managed to stack up in my absence. We gave Wyn some clean-up instructions and began the long process of trying to put the books back where they actually belonged. Wyndham was not too keen on the prospect of leaving and began to protest LOUDLY. She wanted to put every book back BY HERSELF she informed us. We told her that we would ALL join the effort and that it was time to go. As Randy and I stood back and admired the newly cleaned floor, we looked around and realized that Wyndham was nowhere to be found. Thinking that she was just around the corner or hiding in the puppet tree, we began the half-hearted effort of calling out for her..."Wyndham? Wyndham? Come here, it's time to go".

When she didn't immediately appear, we once again began an annoyed scan of the kids area, expecting to hear giggling and see her streaking through the displays to "hide" from us. Sophia began to fuss as I strapped her in the car seat and Randy began to walk around in search of Wyndham. When Randy came back with a panicked look on his face, my stomach immediately dropped. Where did she go?

She was definitely not anywhere near the children's area anymore and we began exploring surrounding sections hoping she wasn't far. We looked for a few minutes and couldn't find a trace, nor was she responding  to her name being called out. As panic rose, so did my blood pressure. I broke out into an immediate sweat as my pace picked up. We looked around the entire store a few times and still had no sign of her. All of the sudden, every single male in the store became my enemy...a potential predator who had perhaps watched our sweet little girl bouncing around the store waiting for the right moment....

Not long after, the prayers began...first internally, and then aloud as the store began spinning around us. People began to stare as our yelling got louder, "Wyndham! Wyndham Grace!" All in a matter of seconds I was  retreating from a moment of peace about "how much faith I had"to taking everything back. I can leave my family, my job, my home for you God, but if something happens to her, this might be it. I'm finished.  I won't, I can't survive this. Visions of police, an investigations, years of mourning began seeping in as I pleaded with God while ignoring the curious and sympathetic stares from others. 

Many minutes had passed now, and just as my breathing began to reach a fevered pitch, Randy stopped dead in his tracks and ran down a narrow aisle in the music section. Wyndham was perched on a small step-stool in the corner with her chin in her hands pouting. All the emotions that I had been trying to keep zip-locked in came bursting out as I grabbed her little body and sobbed. I yelled, cried...I'm not even sure what happened. Once the fear began to dispel, my anger came out full-force. We lectured Wyndham about running away, giving her a three-point sermon on "strangers and tricky people". We told her that as soon as we got home, she would have to have a "pat on her buns"...a HARD one. She finally broke and cried about how she had wanted to clean up "by herself", but we did it for her anyway and how she was "so mad". 

We scooped her up and brisked past a few onlookers on our way to the car. It took me quite a while to settle down from this scare. My adrenaline was coursing for at least an hour to follow. I felt like I needed to go run a few miles to work it off! After the girls were in bed that night, Randy and I exchanged stories of what was racing through our minds those few yet long minutes in the store. I admitted, embarrassingly, how my "rock solid" faith and heartfelt commitment to God had flown out of the window in a matter of a moment. How fickle I am! Now, giving myself some room, I know that I truly love God... but what a reminder of how much I have yet to grow.  Though my first reaction was to throw myself at His mercy, how quickly I withdrew my commitment and devotion the longer we searched that store. 

I once heard someone say that "if your faith can't survive tragedy, than your faith isn't surviving". The truth is, just like my rebellious yet wonderful preschooler, I need discipline. The only way your faith can grow is if you are put into situations that require you to use it to begin with. How thankful I am that others before me demonstrated faith. From Joseph to Abraham, from Rahab to Mary... all ordinary people living out their convictions and devotion. How thankful I am that God is faithful to His Word. Regardless of what would or could have happened that fateful day in Borders, God stays constant despite my inconsistency. How amazing and humbling it is to be a parent and perhaps taste what Our Father might feel when we turn not to Him, but instead to ourselves. 

Deuteronomy 7:9 says, "Know therefore that the LORD your God is God; he is the faithful God, keeping his covenant of love to a thousand generations of those who love him and keep his commands." This wonderful promise, was written to the Israelites who don't have a great history of staying faithful to God either.

Sadly, faith isn't something that comes easily, or quickly. It's a lifelong process. One that is never finished. Ask anyone who is above the age of 70 and they will tell you that one could live a thousand years and never perfect their faith. Thankfully, there is hope. Jesus made a way for us to bridge the gap. We can live in peace and hope knowing that penalty has been paid and restoration awaits.

Revelations 21:1-7 paints a vivid picture of our future ahead--"And God shall wipe away all tears from their eyes; and there shall be no more death, neither sorrow, nor crying, neither shall there be any more pain: for the former things are passed away. And He that sat upon the throne said, Behold, I make all things new....And he said unto me, It is done. I am Alpha and Omega, the beginning and the end. I will give unto him that is a thirst of the fountain of the water of life freely. He that overcometh shall inherit all things; and I will be his God, and he shall be my son."

The world as we know it, a world in which we must live by faith, will soon be replaced with a world in which we can dwell with Him for all of eternity---in a relationship--- face to face. There will be no question that there is a God. "Every knee will bow and every tongue will confess that He is Lord".... I am anxiously awaiting this day. 

In the meantime, may we all fix our eyes on Jesus, the author and perfecter of our faith...." (Hebrews 12:2)