Oh Where is My Hairbrush?

Wyndham in a new old navy shirt/dress: $9.99
Baby Hairbrush: $2.99
Bob and Larry's Sing-along CD: $6.99
My daughter singing into her hairbrush in my old childhood bedroom... priceless....

Will Simon be in Heaven...?

I don't care how hard I try to not care about American Idol.... it keeps luring me back year after year. It's a musical addiction really. I usually can stand to skip the first month or so when all of the really embarrassing auditions are strewn all over the country for everyone to see. Everyone is always so critical of Simon during these first few episodes... but COME ON! William Hung? How can you NOT agree with him? Give me some real singin'... and I mean SANGIN'!!

I am convinced music is going to be an important part of our heavenly life someday. Who doesn't love music? Sure, everyone might have an opinion on which style, tempo or artist they prefer... but music truly connects with the soul in a way that no other medium can.

There have been so many times in my life, whether it be standing amidst 200 fellow singers in a choir, sitting in a my car listening to a chord that only God Himself could have constructed, or relating to the honest lyrics of a pure-voiced singer, I'm brought to tears and laughter all at once. It's actually... a little embarrassing that I can turn into this blubbering blob... even from just hearing a chord sung in tune. Ya... I was an emotional wreck of a choir director, I can tell you that right now!

I went to a conference for music educator's this past January in Grand Rapids. It always touts the "who's who" of choirs and directors from around the state. I always enjoy going, as being with other music teachers who "get" what I "get" about music makes me feel a little less crazy.... though- there ARE a lot of music geeks out there:)

There was a high school african drumming group at one of the conference sessions. They were there to demonstrate the basic principals of communal drumming, chant and dance. Their presentation went uninterrupted for a solid 20 minutes. No one in the room could sit still... the music beckoned us all.

I'm actually glad that the music was so loud, as it distracted everyone from the tears that flowed freely down my cheeks. At one point, I was totally sobbing... the beat... the rhythm.. like an ethereal heartbeat... I couldn't control myself...

How can his awkward geek of a white girl "get" this music? I can't explain it, but I know it is good. I admire people who can SANG and dance so freely... I'm looking forward to being a part of that heavenly music someday... I can live with my 60 minute "Idol" fix for now... and frankly, I hope that heaven has room for a wise-cracking self-absorbed British guy... singing just wouldn't be the same without him:)

'Specially for You

While most of America was celebrating Valentine's Day by romantic candlelight, I was arm-deep in green and orange paint creating props with a fellow co-worker for the upcoming Kindergarten musical, "Green Eggs and Ham". Now, don't get me wrong- I love preparing for musicals and all, but this time around.... I was tired.

My colleague and friend kept my spirits up as we finished a Suessical Masterpiece even ol' Theodore Giesel (Dr. Seuss's real name) would be proud of.

As I wearily drove home around 7PM, I realized that I had forgotten to pick up a little Valentine treat for Wyn... something I had been thinking about all week, but hadn't had a chance to go shopping for. Oh well... saving her virgin teeth from all of the sugary Valentine candy was probably the better way to go.

I began to realize that I have been spending a lot of time in guilt mode recently: feeling guilty for not spending enough time at home, feeling guilt for not being 100% devoted to my job... it's a vicious cycle!! A great woman once said that motherhood is truly the "guilt that keeps on giving"... Preach it sista!

When I finally drug myself into the house, Wyn had already been fed, and was currently in post-dinner/slap happy mode. Sigh-- the guilt chest pain.... then I spotted the fun Elmo-themed treats Grandma had picked up for her for Valentine's Day---guilt pain moving into left arm--- then, my mom told me a story about how Wyn had said an entire sentence on her own today--- guilt cardiac arrest!!

I had failed as a mom~ I didn't even formally celebrate V-day with one of the loves of my life...

I wandered into Wyn's room looking for her pjs when I saw a bag of old barrettes and bows in the upper part of her closet. I looked inside and found some of my old treasured hair items-- including purple barrettes that say "Deidra" (amazing for someone with my unique name), and several Cabbage Patch twisties.

Knotted up amongst my 80's accessories were several strands of a red, pink and white ribbon with small felt hearts attached. I had once worn these ribbons in a church play called, "365 Days of Christmas each year"... in it, each holiday was presented showing it's unique connection to Christ. I played, "God's Special Valentine"... My song?

"Roses are Red- Violets are blue- God sent His Son- 'Specially for you,
Isn't it great? Isn't it true- God sent a Valentine 'Specially for you"

My mom always relives that moment in my history saying that there wasn't a dry eye in the church when my little 4 year old voice belted it out. Now being a mom myself, I can understand why.

Maybe I didn't make it to the store to buy a pink and red trinket or even a mountain of candy for Wyn, but what I can give her this Valentine's Day is a commitment to sharing with her this special gift of God... the saving grace of Jesus Christ. It's profound, essential and amazingly... FREE to everyone!

I caught Wyndham making faces at herself in the mirror the other day. As she slobbered all over the smudged glass, I had an epiphany: just as Wyndham was created in our physical image, we are all created to reflect God's wondrous love and abounding grace. I have a lot to give my daughter and the many other loves of my life.

Yes... I think I can unhook myself from the guilt oxygen machine... at least for today... :)

A Child's Prayer

Dear De-jus... Tank...yooo... for my...foot
Tank you....for...my....for....for...for...five....abc...xyz
Tank you for myee foot
In...de-jus name....aMEN!

Wyn's Piggies

For months, I have been attempting to pull the three feathery tufts of Wyn's hair into some sort of barrette, clip, bow, ANYTHING that resembles a hair accessory!

I finally succeeded as you will see in the picture. Ignore the red scalp, and enjoy the cuteness:)
Wyn's new sentence this week? "Piggies mama~ Piggies owie!!"

The things we girls do for beauty!! :)

Snow Day

For months, I have been waiting for a snow day. That glorious 5AM phone call signaling a day of jammies, hot cocoa, and fun with my baby Wyn. Mmmm- snow day.

November, December and January passed without so much as a snowflake, and I had all but given up hope. Suddenly, my wish finally came true on February 2nd: The Blizzard of 2007!

My grad. class was canceled, which also meant that our final project was canceled, and I am home free for this semester! Our church stubbornly stayed open on Sunday, but we didn't want to risk the treacherous roads.

With a cleared schedule, we had whole weekend ahead- full of movies, games, warm drinks and as Wyn would say "Co-zee warm" clothes.

Thank you Lord for time to slow down- even when it means putting those oh-so important things on the shelf for a few days...

Life Together

When I attended Cornerstone University in the late 90's, I served as a Resident Assistant in a freshman dorm on campus. Pickitt Hall (for all of your stoners) was a communal women's dorm that housed close to 200 girls, and was a social hot-spot for a wide-array of post-high school teens.

It was this year that I also read Dietrich Bonhoeffer's classic, "Life Together". I was so inspired by his perspective, I was just sure that I would graduate and build a Christian commune for all of my most beloved friends and family to dwell forever and ever...in perfect harmony. After all, singing in the shower with 12 other people was kind of fun... and where else is Ramen noodles considered its own food group?

It didn't take long for me to realize however, that forcing people to live and function in a "community" took more than group outings to TGI Friday's, and doing Tae-bo in the stair well at the end of our hall. Community isn't just a social activity-Community is a conscious choice, and it though there can be brief moments of "Waltons-esque" bliss, it takes continuous and thoughtful effort.

In my life and marriage, I have experienced seasons of this communal bliss~ friends helping friends, neighbors helping neighbors. How rare and special- to love and be loved in return. To know that people out there care, and to know, that you really care about them.

As life ebbs and flows, so too my motivation and desire to live out the community Christ longs for us to have with Him, and with one another. It's a tiring process isn't it? Can't I just take a vacation from loving others, and just BE loved for a while? That part is so much easier. Sigh...

When Randy, Wyn and I moved in with my family shortly after selling our house in Grand Rapids this past fall, we knew it would redefine our ideas of community. We've been married 4 1/2 years, have a child, a dog, we've gone through several jobs... and now we're- moving in with my parents?? Are we regressing?

At times, it feels that way, but when I take the time to reflect on lessons learned, I am reminded that it takes work,----but it is always, ALWAYS worth it. Sin has left us out of communion with God- but also each other. Each of us have a deep need to know and be known- a part of being image bearers.

Our society is set up in a way that we can have communities of convenience-online, TV, etc. The media in general has provided us with new ways to communicate, but still cannot offer the tangible, in the flesh experience of BEING in the presence of another person.

And just when you think you have it all figured out, you realize that physical proximity doesn't equal community either. Heck, I can sleep next to Randy night after night, but not really know him. I can live in a house with my parents and sister and have no idea what is going on in their lives. Community takes relationship- Community takes action and Community takes a lifetime of effort.

When I graduated from college, I was so excited about impacting students with a love for music and community... the older I get~ I am realizing what an accomplishment it is just to love and know ONE person. Not mushy gushy love~ real, sacrificial I-care-more-about-you-than-me love.

For me, community is going to start with my marriage and family. Something I've noticed since moving in with my family, is that sometimes the people that have known you since the beginning of time are the hardest to know, and be known by. The closer we are, all of the wounds of my childhood and the pride creep inside those soft places in my heart, and I shut down. Community takes effort- I know this full well.

Christ calls us to "Love One Another"... little did we know that such a seemingly small commandment has so many implications. Whenever I get frustrated with my current living situation, I am reminded of something a good friend recently told me-
"Just be thankful you have someone who is willing to put up with YOU for a few months".

I have no doubt that Mr. Bonhoeffer would agree.