A Heart Turned

"For anyone who says yes to Jesus

For anyone who believes what Jesus said 

For anyone who will just reach out and take it

Then God will give to them this wonderful gift:

To be born into a whole new life

To be who they really are

Who God always made them to be

Their own true selves-

God's dear

Child"

(John 1:12-13- paraphrase)

God has been working in the heart of little Wyn these days. We've  seen it in her rebellion and her confession. We've seen it in her questions and her pondering...and we've even seen it in her desire to know and understand why the God of the universe has any interest in His creation. 

A few days ago, I was reading on our bed during the girls afternoon nap. Just as I was starting to settle in, the bedroom door quietly squeaked open to reveal Wyndham standing there with one arm full of tattered "buddies", and the other one full of books from her bookshelf. Normally, I would redirect her right back to bed, but we hadn't been out of the house that day and so I caved and let her climb in bed with me for some afternoon reading. 

Lately, Wyndham has been very interested with "bad guys". Trying to understand evil, and why people do bad things. She has a Little Golden Book version of "Mickey's Christmas Carol". The Ghost of Christmas Past is portrayed by a character wearing a red devil costume. Almost predictably, she turns immediately to that page when she drags the book out. I was secretly watching her on this day, fascinated by her. When she got tired of Mickey's Carol, she turned in her Children's Bible to the story of Jesus being tempted in the desert by satan. Satan was portrayed by a person wearing a long black cloak. Though his face was never exposed, you knew that this was a formidable being. 

We haven't spent a great deal of time talking with Wyn about satan up until this point. She has enough fear to deal with at the moment- the #1 fear being her aversion to Grizzly Bears.....long story...we think she had a fever-induced dream a few months ago about a bear breaking into her room....it's been chaos ever since. Anyway, giving a small child the full picture of Satan's power and hatred of God and God's children in something to take in stride over time. 

I seized the opportunity to talk to her about having courage in the face of trial. 

W- Mommy, why is satan talking to Jesus?

M- He's talking to Jesus because he wants Jesus to forget about His Father in heaven and worship satan instead.

W-But why?

M-Because Satan is the Father of all lies. God created Him, but satan thought he was better than God- his own creator! He had pride in his heart- he thought he was better than God. He started gathering other angels with Him to fight against God. He became God's enemy. God threw satan out of heaven forever, and now, satan spends his time trying to trick people into thinking that they are more important than God. 

W-That's what the snake did to Eve!

M- That's right! That's because satan can disguise himself and make himself seem OK, when really he is just trying to get you to stop loving and worshipping God. 

W- But sometimes, I don't want to do things that you and daddy tell me to do. I want to lie and do what I want to do instead...

M- (catching my breath) That's right. We all have hearts that want to do bad things. That's why we need new hearts. Ones that want to do right things- ones that want to love and worship God and not ourselves. The only way that that can happen is if we admit and tell God that we have bad hearts and ask Him to live in us so we can have new ones.

W- I want to read the story of Jesus dying on the cross again.

M- Ok...

(We read through the Crucifixion, Resurrection and Ascension)...you can't just leave the story at the cross, you know?!

M- You know, Jesus being killed on the cross...it wasn't like a punishment that you deserve when you've done something bad.

W- Like a pat on the buns?

M- NO! It was MUCH much worse than a pat on the buns. Jesus never did anything wrong. He never sinned. He was perfect in every way.

W- Even to his parents?

M- Yes. Even to them. It would be like, if I told you and Sophie not to touch a special pot of flowers, and while I wasn't looking, Sophie touched it, knocked it over and broke it. Instead of her taking the "pat", it would be like if you volunteered to take the pat for her...

W-Yeah. Because she wasn't supposed to be touching the pot of flowers.

M- Right. But remember, Jesus was perfect, so even that story doesn't quite compare to the real one. God loved us and sent Jesus to take the ultimate "pat" for us. He was beaten and nailed to a cross. It was horrible Wyndham. The worst....

 (Wyndham is now sliding off of the bed...I'm beginning to think that I've been talking a bit too much)

M- Where are you going Wyn?

W- I'm going to go ask Jesus to come into my heart (DUH implied)

M- (Another gasp of breath- millions of thoughts running through my mind). Wow Wyn. That is a big deal.Would you like Mommy to help you pray?

W- OK (climbing back onto the bed)

M- Wyndham, before we pray to God, I want to tell you a few things so you understand what is happening. When you ask Jesus to come into your heart, you are saying that that you have a bad heart and that the only way to love and live for God is by believing that you're heart wants to do bad things and telling God about those things. You also need to believe that the only way to be with God again is to believe that Jesus was His Son, sent to take our punishment on the cross. That's a big deal Wyn. It's called "grace"- being given the gift of a life with God forever even when you don't deserve it. 

W- Hey! That's my middle name! 

M- Yup. We think Grace is one of the best word invented! Being a Christian is hard work Wyn. It's not an easy life, but it is so worth it, and someday, God will welcome us into Heaven and tell us that He is proud and that He loves us. 

W- Mommy (impatience growing)... I already know that.... are we gonna pray now?

M- (falling a part by the second) Ok. Sorry sorry. Let's pray. 

Dear God, I love you. You made all things in heaven and on earth. My heart wants to do naughty things and love myself more than you. I'm sorry and ask you to forgive me. I believe that Jesus is your Son and that He died on the cross for my sins so that I wouldn't have to. I give my life and my future to you. I want you to come into my heart and life as my Savior. I know life won't be easy, but with your help, I can grow and know you more every day. Thank You. In Jesus Name, Amen.

W- Mommy. Why are you crying? Aren't you supposed to be happy?

M- I am! I am! I'm just so proud of you...snif sniff...sob sob...hug hug...Wyndham, the world will tell you that God isn't real. The world will tell you that there are other Jesus'. But I promise I'm telling you the truth. There is one true God who loves us. When Jesus left His disciples to go back to heaven he told them to "Fear not, for I am with you always". He will be with you always in your heart, guiding your thoughts and actions. This is your 2nd Birthday. Let's go call daddy and write it down.

A million thoughts have been running through my head ever since this day. As parents, one of our highest calling is to raise our children in the knowledge and fear of the Lord. We as parents are called to shepherd our children's heart in hopes that God's Word would take root someday. It's easy to focus on the externals of their behavior rather than the internal caverns of the heart...especially during the toddler/preschool years!  Proverbs 4:23 describes the heart as "the well-spring of life". What is written there overflows into our speech, our actions and our character. If our fallen hearts are the real issue, that is where we must place our focus. 

Wyndham has been showing signs of her awareness of sin and her belief in Jesus for some time now, but I admit, I was not prepared for this day. I now understand what II Timothy says about being prepared "in season and out" to share the Gospel. God could be calling you to seize the moment at anytime with anyone. 

I guess I never really thought about what this experience would be like, but it was the sweetest, and yet scariest moment of my life. It was like the weight of the world was suddenly upon my chest- How do we guide this child? She believes God...but what now? There is so much more. Does she really know the cost? Will she be able to withstand opposition? How do we pray for her?

God has been talking to me though His word and through prayer reminding me that Wyndham is not ours...but His. There is no better way to promote and add to the Kingdom than by guiding and training our children to know and serve God. Children are truly a blessing--small welding torches burning away the coal of our hearts- refining us each day into Christ's likeness. No matter how God chooses to use Wyndham in the future, our task remains...and each day, I pray that God will break my heart and pry my white-knuckled fingers off of our children so they can be released for His Sovereign plan...wherever that may be......

"Here I am! I stand at the door and knock. If anyone hears my voice and opens the door, I will come in."- Revelation 3:20

"Everyone who calls on the name of the Lord will be saved."- Romans 10:13

Behind the Curtain...

I came upon this scene today after putting Sophie down for a nap... Ohhh she is my child.

After being discovered, Wyn, in typical performer fashion, had to give the full-version of her 1st Sunday Morning hit =)

S my name is Sophie

It's hard to believe that Sophia is 6 1/2 months now. With Wyndham at such a busy and active age, I feel like I woke up one day and Sophie was 4 months...then 5, and so on. I am so thankful that have been able to stay home with the girls thus far. Thou

gh I feel the day to day exhaustion of being "on my own" and away from family help, I am having a great time having a front row seat to these amazing creatures who are growing up before my very eyes. 

Since we now live in the Windy City and have had limited contact with close friends and family these last several months, I thought I would give you some details of our little Sophie's history, personality, quirks and habits. 

1. Sophie made her appearance exactly 2 weeks before her due date, and nearly was born in our mini-van on the way to the hospital!

(Sophie- 4 hours old)

2. When we were leaving the hospital after Sophie was born, an elderly man was waiting outside the entryway at the hospital. We had this doll (see below) tucked in next to her in the car seat. Randy went to get the car to pick us up. In the process of getting our van loaded, the man looked down into the car seat and said, "Oh look. Twins!" His wife elbowed him hard in the gut and said, "One of those is a doll Reggie!". He did a double take ju

st to make sure:) I had to laugh that this man would mistake a doll with thread for eyes with a human being....not to mention, why would we have 2 babies in one car seat??? :)

(Sophie at 3 months)

3. Sophie is a CHUNK. She has dimples on her cheeks, her hands, her buns....her dimples have dimples! Though she is still only in the 50th percentile for height and weight, she has about 3 chins and 5 leg rolls...per leg. Because of the absolute adorableness of this trait, I spend most of my  days smooching her checks and doing half-naked dances in front of the bathroom mirror....Sophie....not me =)

(Fat Baby in a little hat....)

4. She has been making babbling noises since she was 3 weeks old. All 

babies make noises of course, but it seems that she was born talking....could it be she will take after mommy?? By 5 weeks she was saying "deedeedee dadadadada and neenees".... WAY earlier than Wyn.... at least from what I can remember! She also makes her noises with vocal inflection, so you really get a sense she is telling you something specific. Can't wait to see how that trait unfolds.

5. She has "BaBa-dar"...Bottle Radar. If there is a bottle in the room, full, empty, in the dish drying rack- she will spot and and yell "Ahhhh Ahhhh" until we either move it out of sight, or oblige her with a warm meal. She is like a baby bird, wiggling around with her mouth open, leaning in trying to find the source of food. Very intense...and hilarious.

6. Her nicknames include the following: Sophie Sue, Stinky Sue, Soph, Fifi, and Chunky Soup...(see #2)

7. Sophie loves LOVES loves Wyndham. She is fa

scinated by her. No matter how loud, crazy or dangerous Wyndham is acting around her, Sophia finds her to be HILARious. Thankfully, Wyndham has been great with her up to this point and at has been such a pleasure watching their sisterhood unfold. 

(Christmas 2008)

8. Due to her sturdy tree trunk legs, she has been able to stand up with assistance for months. 

9. She has become a "spitter" like Wyndham. Record so far: 4 clothing changes in 15 minutes....not including mine! So sad. She didn't start until around 4-5 months, but it's in full swing now! 

10. She is a thumb-sucker. She has never liked binkies.... ever. Somew

here around 3 months, she found her thumb and it has been in her mouth ever since. She actually hooks her pointer finger over her nose while she's sucking on it. I think it's adorable, but have begun to worry that it will be harder for her to give 

up than a binkie would be...you can't throw your thumb away! Our doctor has assured us that's it's too early to worry...just yet....

(Sophie at 3 months)

11. She can roll over, prop herself up on her hands and elbows, sit up

 for a bit with no assistance (though about 99% of the time she ends up puking when she's in this position and then toppling over INTO it ;0), stand up with assistance, bounce and hop on her legs and feet and suck her toes...her 2nd favorite thing to have in her mouth. Man that's flexibility!

12. She has a bald spot on the back of her head. She's had it since she was a few weeks old, and even though she sleeps between her back and her side, it's like the Sahara desert back there...nothing grows. 

13. All of the other toddlers in the nursery line up to "rub Sophie's head" each Sunday morning. It's this weird ritual that several of the nursery workers have told me about... someone likened it to "rubbing a Buddha belly"...maybe it brings them all good luck?! 

14. She was born with bright WIDE attentive eyes. When Randy and I talk to each other, we've noticed that she looks at us back and forth depending on who is talking. We've literally stopped mid-conversation only to realize that someone has been quietly hanging on our every word.

I can't wait until she starts talking so I can hear what's going on in that brain of hers! 

15. No teeth have appeared yet, but I can see the beginning of 2 slits on her lower gums. I can't wait until she finally gets some teeth, because the way she acts around our dinner table, you'd think the girl wanted to eat steak!

This is just a small snapshot of our newest little member. She brings us all much joy. Not one day has passed when I haven't raced Randy to open her nursery door in the morning only to be greeted by her cute, dimply, gummy smile. We hope you can meet her soon!

Oh...and I almost forgot. She now HATES the bouncy seat. If I forget to strap her in so I can run across the room to do something, this is how I find her.... I think it's about time to retire the chair!

Our Merry Little Christmas-2008

I have taken a "holiday" from blogging as we have been busy visiting with family friends these last 2 weeks. Since we have been traveling quite a bit this year, we decided to stay here in IL for the Holidays and just .....be....ahhhh. 

The week before Christmas we were happy to welcomed our friends John and Kim Hoerger to our home all the way from Minerva OH! They made their way through treacherous weather to see us. Now THAT'S devotion! We had a great time corrupting their country ways:) They attended church with us on Sunday, and we even got to show them around Chicago a bit before enjoying some traditional deep dish pizza together. Mmmmm...They are like family to us and we are thankful we could share several nights talking, sharing coffee and praying together. 

Family Christmas :)

The Sunday before Christmas, Wyn's preschool class was featured during the service singing "Who Was There that First Christmas Day?". Due to 2 service times and it being so close to Christmas, there weren't a lot of kids there, but we still had no problem hearing Wyndham:)

On Christmas Eve, we went sledding with church friends insub-zero weather. We were out about 2 minutes and Wyndham was already purple! We thawed out and attended a beautiful Christmas Eve service at our church that  night. It was PACKED. Randy was involved in the entire service, so I had to field the girls by myself in the sanctuary as it was a family service with no child care provided. Wyndham sang every song with gusto! A little too much gusto though... at one point as she fell off of her chair during Angels We Have Heard on High. Oops! 

Following the service, one of the elders and his family invited us over for snacks and conversation. This was the first Christmas I have ever spent away from family, but I have to say, it was nice. It was nice being in someone's home and sharing in the community of their family for once. Though wistful for my own, I was grateful for the thoughtfulness of being included. 

While we were away, apparently. good ol' Saint Nick visited out house. Albeit a bit early, but we figured he had a lot of houses to reach so coming early was A-OK with us. 

Santa's Christmas Eve gift? Matching jammies:)

Christmas Day was gorgeous. The sun shone brightly and danced off of the snow. I was even able to take a Christmas Day run-- with sunglasses of course. We exchanged family gifts with one another and lazed and lounged in our jammies until afternoon. Randy gifted me with an Ipod nano and some running software to go along with it to encourage me as I have committed to running a few races this spring- a 5K in February, an 8K in March and a half-marathon in May. I feel so "professional" with my Ipod and spiffy shoes. 

One of Wyndham's Favorite Gifts- her OWN digital camera. (Thank God!)

Another gift fave? A Lite Brite...I'm jealous =)

A family from our church invited us over for Christmas Dinner and we were happy to oblige! The couple has a 5-year old son who is also in Wyndham's preschool class so Wyn was delighted to celebrate Christmas Day with friends. This couple has a heart for community and invited a few other families who are either new to the area or didn't have any family in town as well. One couple (whose son is also in Wyn's class) just relocated here from South Africa. They are the sweetest people. It's so refreshing to know people from a different culture. They brought over roasted lamb and some other delicious South African treats. My mouth was in HEAVEN. 

Some of the kiddos and a Birthday Cake for Jesus

We had a day or two to recover from our festivities before my parents came down for the week to visit us as well. There is just something about being with the people who know you best that is such a comfort. Grandma and Auntie signed Wyndham up for a "Fairytale Ballet" class that begins this Thursday. I am excited to get Wyn involved in something this winter as being house-bound is the PITS. One of her little friends from school just moved to Germany, so Im hoping that this will serve as a great distraction for her. 

(I love the crazy levitating underpant picture:)

Randy hosted a New Years event at church for youth and their familes. My parents and I went over to the church for a while until bedtime approached. Randy rang in the new year with students, while my mom and dad and I toasted 2009 in our little duplex around the corner. It just goes to show- traditions are great- but family-people, are what really make the memories.  

There were many memorable moments these past several weeks, but the one that will resonate with me for years to come came on Christmas Eve- Wyndham and one of her pre-school friends Ailyn were playing on the stage following the churchservice. Apparently, they decided it would be fun to climb in and out of the manger that was still placed precariously in the middle of the stage. Seeing what they were doing, I approached them on the stage and talked to them about having respect for God's house and the manger because it was very special. Wyndham proceeded to turn to her friend and say, "Yeah Aiylyn. This manger is SPECIAL." Then she turned to me and said, "Mommy, I have to show you something really terrible. It's this way" and she grabbed my hand and led me to the back of the stage. 

There is a large wooden cross hanging on the wall as a backdrop to the stage. She stopped in front of it, pointed up and said, "Look mommy. It's terrible." My eyes immediately welled up with tears as I said,"Why is it terrible Wyndham?" "Because they killded Jesus on the cross". Looking around at the nearly empty sanctuary, I wanted to shout for joy and emotion as our 3-year old daughter recognized one of the most precious symbols of our faith. "But you know what Wyn? Even though the cross WAS terrible in every way, it also reminds us that Jesus did NOT stay dead. His Father called Him out of death and he is still alive today so that we can go to heaven and know Him forever." I squeaked out. "Yeah Mommy...do you think Santa came to our house tonight?" .... =) Ahhhh kids.

2008 was a hell of a year... literally. God has brought us through and I am thankful for His refinement and faithfulness. Here's to 2009 all that is to come!

Turkey Day and other goings-on

Here are a few pictures of the girlies from Thanksgiving Day and other fun festivities. 

Note: The Turkey Day pictures were taken PRIOR to the stomach

 flu episode. Sigh... Enjoy!

Wyndham's Preschool class had a Thanksgiving Feast at school. Pastor Zack even came with his special friend, "Iggy"...(too bad I secretly hate wooden puppet people!)

Wyndham's friend, Ailyn, had a birthday party at the Gymnastic Factory. Wyndham even attempted a vault! ;)

Here we see the after-effects of a day at the gym:)

Fall, Friends & Fun

Here are some recent pics from the Ross family fall festivities. Last week, Wyn's preschool class took a trip to "Country Bumpkin" farm. Very fun...but as someone who has lived in the country, I had to laugh a bit at the "farm"....It was more like a Home Depot Garden center that just happened to have a petting zoo attached. Still-very fun. 

We decided to do a family-theme for Halloween this year and went as Old Macdonald's farm. Everything went splendidly...until Sophie started eating the hay:) It was a beautiful night for Trick-or-treating here. We were able to join several families that live close to us on our adventure. I especially liked Wyn's friend Nathan's costume....a secret agent. He even had a brief case with several "disguises" in it:) 

Happy Pumpkin day from my sweet punkins'!