S my name is Sophie

It's hard to believe that Sophia is 6 1/2 months now. With Wyndham at such a busy and active age, I feel like I woke up one day and Sophie was 4 months...then 5, and so on. I am so thankful that have been able to stay home with the girls thus far. Thou

gh I feel the day to day exhaustion of being "on my own" and away from family help, I am having a great time having a front row seat to these amazing creatures who are growing up before my very eyes. 

Since we now live in the Windy City and have had limited contact with close friends and family these last several months, I thought I would give you some details of our little Sophie's history, personality, quirks and habits. 

1. Sophie made her appearance exactly 2 weeks before her due date, and nearly was born in our mini-van on the way to the hospital!

(Sophie- 4 hours old)

2. When we were leaving the hospital after Sophie was born, an elderly man was waiting outside the entryway at the hospital. We had this doll (see below) tucked in next to her in the car seat. Randy went to get the car to pick us up. In the process of getting our van loaded, the man looked down into the car seat and said, "Oh look. Twins!" His wife elbowed him hard in the gut and said, "One of those is a doll Reggie!". He did a double take ju

st to make sure:) I had to laugh that this man would mistake a doll with thread for eyes with a human being....not to mention, why would we have 2 babies in one car seat??? :)

(Sophie at 3 months)

3. Sophie is a CHUNK. She has dimples on her cheeks, her hands, her buns....her dimples have dimples! Though she is still only in the 50th percentile for height and weight, she has about 3 chins and 5 leg rolls...per leg. Because of the absolute adorableness of this trait, I spend most of my  days smooching her checks and doing half-naked dances in front of the bathroom mirror....Sophie....not me =)

(Fat Baby in a little hat....)

4. She has been making babbling noises since she was 3 weeks old. All 

babies make noises of course, but it seems that she was born talking....could it be she will take after mommy?? By 5 weeks she was saying "deedeedee dadadadada and neenees".... WAY earlier than Wyn.... at least from what I can remember! She also makes her noises with vocal inflection, so you really get a sense she is telling you something specific. Can't wait to see how that trait unfolds.

5. She has "BaBa-dar"...Bottle Radar. If there is a bottle in the room, full, empty, in the dish drying rack- she will spot and and yell "Ahhhh Ahhhh" until we either move it out of sight, or oblige her with a warm meal. She is like a baby bird, wiggling around with her mouth open, leaning in trying to find the source of food. Very intense...and hilarious.

6. Her nicknames include the following: Sophie Sue, Stinky Sue, Soph, Fifi, and Chunky Soup...(see #2)

7. Sophie loves LOVES loves Wyndham. She is fa

scinated by her. No matter how loud, crazy or dangerous Wyndham is acting around her, Sophia finds her to be HILARious. Thankfully, Wyndham has been great with her up to this point and at has been such a pleasure watching their sisterhood unfold. 

(Christmas 2008)

8. Due to her sturdy tree trunk legs, she has been able to stand up with assistance for months. 

9. She has become a "spitter" like Wyndham. Record so far: 4 clothing changes in 15 minutes....not including mine! So sad. She didn't start until around 4-5 months, but it's in full swing now! 

10. She is a thumb-sucker. She has never liked binkies.... ever. Somew

here around 3 months, she found her thumb and it has been in her mouth ever since. She actually hooks her pointer finger over her nose while she's sucking on it. I think it's adorable, but have begun to worry that it will be harder for her to give 

up than a binkie would be...you can't throw your thumb away! Our doctor has assured us that's it's too early to worry...just yet....

(Sophie at 3 months)

11. She can roll over, prop herself up on her hands and elbows, sit up

 for a bit with no assistance (though about 99% of the time she ends up puking when she's in this position and then toppling over INTO it ;0), stand up with assistance, bounce and hop on her legs and feet and suck her toes...her 2nd favorite thing to have in her mouth. Man that's flexibility!

12. She has a bald spot on the back of her head. She's had it since she was a few weeks old, and even though she sleeps between her back and her side, it's like the Sahara desert back there...nothing grows. 

13. All of the other toddlers in the nursery line up to "rub Sophie's head" each Sunday morning. It's this weird ritual that several of the nursery workers have told me about... someone likened it to "rubbing a Buddha belly"...maybe it brings them all good luck?! 

14. She was born with bright WIDE attentive eyes. When Randy and I talk to each other, we've noticed that she looks at us back and forth depending on who is talking. We've literally stopped mid-conversation only to realize that someone has been quietly hanging on our every word.

I can't wait until she starts talking so I can hear what's going on in that brain of hers! 

15. No teeth have appeared yet, but I can see the beginning of 2 slits on her lower gums. I can't wait until she finally gets some teeth, because the way she acts around our dinner table, you'd think the girl wanted to eat steak!

This is just a small snapshot of our newest little member. She brings us all much joy. Not one day has passed when I haven't raced Randy to open her nursery door in the morning only to be greeted by her cute, dimply, gummy smile. We hope you can meet her soon!

Oh...and I almost forgot. She now HATES the bouncy seat. If I forget to strap her in so I can run across the room to do something, this is how I find her.... I think it's about time to retire the chair!

O Me of Little Faith

A couple of weeks ago, Randy and I were itching to get out of our snow-encased home and longing to go to one of our favorite spending-time-together places- Borders bookstore. I love good books, good chai and being together so this was a fun prospect. As of late, it has been easier and easier to go to Borders as a family and actually enjoy our time together there. Randy and I each pick out a few selections we're interested in, grad a cup o' joe, and head to the children's section where Wyndham busies herself with her own book selection. If Sophie is fed and content, we may even get a whole blissful hour in which to enjoy the luxury of being out of the house all together. 

Call it the terrible threes, call it the result of Christmas vacation, call it what you will...but Wyndham has been giving us a run for our money lately in the behavior department. Sassiness, flat out defiance, rudeness, throwing fits... you name it. Three has been such a jumble of wonderful frustration, it will definitely be one for the history books.

On this particular day, Wyndham was being her typical self-- dilly-dallying around the house while we scrambled to pack bags, bundle bodies, scrape cars and get out of the house before it was pointless to venture out at all. It was one of those days where she kept conveniently morphing into various jungle animals to escape putting on her clothes all while getting every baby blanket out of Sophie's dresser in which to create her jungle home. This of course, is taking place while the car is running in the driveway, Soph is in her car seat wailing because she's not in a moving car and Randy, headphones engulfling his hearing, is absorbed in Ipod-land. I have successfully directed hundreds of students over the years, but do you think I can get my family of four out of the door on time for anything? It's next to impossible!

Spousal communication is so important when making these family outings together. Especially to a place like Borders where I could easily get sucked in for hours. We have to remember that we have kids with us and we must set our expectations very--VERY low. Maybe we will just get coffee and play with Wyn in the kids section on a particular day, though casting a wistful gaze at the endless shelves of books that will have to wait a few more years to read. This day was different in that I was looking for a particular book for someone and needed some alone time in which to comb the store and find it. Randy graciously obliged me and took kid-duty in the children's section while I got to wander the store for a few minutes and savor the quiet.

Borders isn't my favorite store to browse for good Christian literature, but I always breeze through the section anyway. I picked up Lee Strobel's classic, "A Case for Faith" and flipped through it a bit. A family in our church has a student who is claiming to be an atheist, and his parents are trying to convince him to read some books with them that might shed some light on some of the things he is struggling with. My mind immediately went to our present situation here in IL. We have been pretty financially strapped these past few months as we have been trying to cover our mortgage back in OH while also covering our rent here. Every month has been a test of faith to see how it will come together. By God's grace, we have paid our bills and haven't missed a meal, but it has definitely been a daily giving-over-to-the- Lord. As I pondered these things, I began to think of how, for the first time in my life, I've really had to live by faith and not by sight. I have been really reflecting on giving over my whole self, my hopes dreams, etc. to God's will and to the furthering of the Gospel....lost in my thoughts, I finally snapped to and realized I should rescue Randy and give him some browsing time too.

I made my way back to the kids section and waded through the enormous pile of books Wyndham had managed to stack up in my absence. We gave Wyn some clean-up instructions and began the long process of trying to put the books back where they actually belonged. Wyndham was not too keen on the prospect of leaving and began to protest LOUDLY. She wanted to put every book back BY HERSELF she informed us. We told her that we would ALL join the effort and that it was time to go. As Randy and I stood back and admired the newly cleaned floor, we looked around and realized that Wyndham was nowhere to be found. Thinking that she was just around the corner or hiding in the puppet tree, we began the half-hearted effort of calling out for her..."Wyndham? Wyndham? Come here, it's time to go".

When she didn't immediately appear, we once again began an annoyed scan of the kids area, expecting to hear giggling and see her streaking through the displays to "hide" from us. Sophia began to fuss as I strapped her in the car seat and Randy began to walk around in search of Wyndham. When Randy came back with a panicked look on his face, my stomach immediately dropped. Where did she go?

She was definitely not anywhere near the children's area anymore and we began exploring surrounding sections hoping she wasn't far. We looked for a few minutes and couldn't find a trace, nor was she responding  to her name being called out. As panic rose, so did my blood pressure. I broke out into an immediate sweat as my pace picked up. We looked around the entire store a few times and still had no sign of her. All of the sudden, every single male in the store became my enemy...a potential predator who had perhaps watched our sweet little girl bouncing around the store waiting for the right moment....

Not long after, the prayers began...first internally, and then aloud as the store began spinning around us. People began to stare as our yelling got louder, "Wyndham! Wyndham Grace!" All in a matter of seconds I was  retreating from a moment of peace about "how much faith I had"to taking everything back. I can leave my family, my job, my home for you God, but if something happens to her, this might be it. I'm finished.  I won't, I can't survive this. Visions of police, an investigations, years of mourning began seeping in as I pleaded with God while ignoring the curious and sympathetic stares from others. 

Many minutes had passed now, and just as my breathing began to reach a fevered pitch, Randy stopped dead in his tracks and ran down a narrow aisle in the music section. Wyndham was perched on a small step-stool in the corner with her chin in her hands pouting. All the emotions that I had been trying to keep zip-locked in came bursting out as I grabbed her little body and sobbed. I yelled, cried...I'm not even sure what happened. Once the fear began to dispel, my anger came out full-force. We lectured Wyndham about running away, giving her a three-point sermon on "strangers and tricky people". We told her that as soon as we got home, she would have to have a "pat on her buns"...a HARD one. She finally broke and cried about how she had wanted to clean up "by herself", but we did it for her anyway and how she was "so mad". 

We scooped her up and brisked past a few onlookers on our way to the car. It took me quite a while to settle down from this scare. My adrenaline was coursing for at least an hour to follow. I felt like I needed to go run a few miles to work it off! After the girls were in bed that night, Randy and I exchanged stories of what was racing through our minds those few yet long minutes in the store. I admitted, embarrassingly, how my "rock solid" faith and heartfelt commitment to God had flown out of the window in a matter of a moment. How fickle I am! Now, giving myself some room, I know that I truly love God... but what a reminder of how much I have yet to grow.  Though my first reaction was to throw myself at His mercy, how quickly I withdrew my commitment and devotion the longer we searched that store. 

I once heard someone say that "if your faith can't survive tragedy, than your faith isn't surviving". The truth is, just like my rebellious yet wonderful preschooler, I need discipline. The only way your faith can grow is if you are put into situations that require you to use it to begin with. How thankful I am that others before me demonstrated faith. From Joseph to Abraham, from Rahab to Mary... all ordinary people living out their convictions and devotion. How thankful I am that God is faithful to His Word. Regardless of what would or could have happened that fateful day in Borders, God stays constant despite my inconsistency. How amazing and humbling it is to be a parent and perhaps taste what Our Father might feel when we turn not to Him, but instead to ourselves. 

Deuteronomy 7:9 says, "Know therefore that the LORD your God is God; he is the faithful God, keeping his covenant of love to a thousand generations of those who love him and keep his commands." This wonderful promise, was written to the Israelites who don't have a great history of staying faithful to God either.

Sadly, faith isn't something that comes easily, or quickly. It's a lifelong process. One that is never finished. Ask anyone who is above the age of 70 and they will tell you that one could live a thousand years and never perfect their faith. Thankfully, there is hope. Jesus made a way for us to bridge the gap. We can live in peace and hope knowing that penalty has been paid and restoration awaits.

Revelations 21:1-7 paints a vivid picture of our future ahead--"And God shall wipe away all tears from their eyes; and there shall be no more death, neither sorrow, nor crying, neither shall there be any more pain: for the former things are passed away. And He that sat upon the throne said, Behold, I make all things new....And he said unto me, It is done. I am Alpha and Omega, the beginning and the end. I will give unto him that is a thirst of the fountain of the water of life freely. He that overcometh shall inherit all things; and I will be his God, and he shall be my son."

The world as we know it, a world in which we must live by faith, will soon be replaced with a world in which we can dwell with Him for all of eternity---in a relationship--- face to face. There will be no question that there is a God. "Every knee will bow and every tongue will confess that He is Lord".... I am anxiously awaiting this day. 

In the meantime, may we all fix our eyes on Jesus, the author and perfecter of our faith...." (Hebrews 12:2)

Our Merry Little Christmas-2008

I have taken a "holiday" from blogging as we have been busy visiting with family friends these last 2 weeks. Since we have been traveling quite a bit this year, we decided to stay here in IL for the Holidays and just .....be....ahhhh. 

The week before Christmas we were happy to welcomed our friends John and Kim Hoerger to our home all the way from Minerva OH! They made their way through treacherous weather to see us. Now THAT'S devotion! We had a great time corrupting their country ways:) They attended church with us on Sunday, and we even got to show them around Chicago a bit before enjoying some traditional deep dish pizza together. Mmmmm...They are like family to us and we are thankful we could share several nights talking, sharing coffee and praying together. 

Family Christmas :)

The Sunday before Christmas, Wyn's preschool class was featured during the service singing "Who Was There that First Christmas Day?". Due to 2 service times and it being so close to Christmas, there weren't a lot of kids there, but we still had no problem hearing Wyndham:)

On Christmas Eve, we went sledding with church friends insub-zero weather. We were out about 2 minutes and Wyndham was already purple! We thawed out and attended a beautiful Christmas Eve service at our church that  night. It was PACKED. Randy was involved in the entire service, so I had to field the girls by myself in the sanctuary as it was a family service with no child care provided. Wyndham sang every song with gusto! A little too much gusto though... at one point as she fell off of her chair during Angels We Have Heard on High. Oops! 

Following the service, one of the elders and his family invited us over for snacks and conversation. This was the first Christmas I have ever spent away from family, but I have to say, it was nice. It was nice being in someone's home and sharing in the community of their family for once. Though wistful for my own, I was grateful for the thoughtfulness of being included. 

While we were away, apparently. good ol' Saint Nick visited out house. Albeit a bit early, but we figured he had a lot of houses to reach so coming early was A-OK with us. 

Santa's Christmas Eve gift? Matching jammies:)

Christmas Day was gorgeous. The sun shone brightly and danced off of the snow. I was even able to take a Christmas Day run-- with sunglasses of course. We exchanged family gifts with one another and lazed and lounged in our jammies until afternoon. Randy gifted me with an Ipod nano and some running software to go along with it to encourage me as I have committed to running a few races this spring- a 5K in February, an 8K in March and a half-marathon in May. I feel so "professional" with my Ipod and spiffy shoes. 

One of Wyndham's Favorite Gifts- her OWN digital camera. (Thank God!)

Another gift fave? A Lite Brite...I'm jealous =)

A family from our church invited us over for Christmas Dinner and we were happy to oblige! The couple has a 5-year old son who is also in Wyndham's preschool class so Wyn was delighted to celebrate Christmas Day with friends. This couple has a heart for community and invited a few other families who are either new to the area or didn't have any family in town as well. One couple (whose son is also in Wyn's class) just relocated here from South Africa. They are the sweetest people. It's so refreshing to know people from a different culture. They brought over roasted lamb and some other delicious South African treats. My mouth was in HEAVEN. 

Some of the kiddos and a Birthday Cake for Jesus

We had a day or two to recover from our festivities before my parents came down for the week to visit us as well. There is just something about being with the people who know you best that is such a comfort. Grandma and Auntie signed Wyndham up for a "Fairytale Ballet" class that begins this Thursday. I am excited to get Wyn involved in something this winter as being house-bound is the PITS. One of her little friends from school just moved to Germany, so Im hoping that this will serve as a great distraction for her. 

(I love the crazy levitating underpant picture:)

Randy hosted a New Years event at church for youth and their familes. My parents and I went over to the church for a while until bedtime approached. Randy rang in the new year with students, while my mom and dad and I toasted 2009 in our little duplex around the corner. It just goes to show- traditions are great- but family-people, are what really make the memories.  

There were many memorable moments these past several weeks, but the one that will resonate with me for years to come came on Christmas Eve- Wyndham and one of her pre-school friends Ailyn were playing on the stage following the churchservice. Apparently, they decided it would be fun to climb in and out of the manger that was still placed precariously in the middle of the stage. Seeing what they were doing, I approached them on the stage and talked to them about having respect for God's house and the manger because it was very special. Wyndham proceeded to turn to her friend and say, "Yeah Aiylyn. This manger is SPECIAL." Then she turned to me and said, "Mommy, I have to show you something really terrible. It's this way" and she grabbed my hand and led me to the back of the stage. 

There is a large wooden cross hanging on the wall as a backdrop to the stage. She stopped in front of it, pointed up and said, "Look mommy. It's terrible." My eyes immediately welled up with tears as I said,"Why is it terrible Wyndham?" "Because they killded Jesus on the cross". Looking around at the nearly empty sanctuary, I wanted to shout for joy and emotion as our 3-year old daughter recognized one of the most precious symbols of our faith. "But you know what Wyn? Even though the cross WAS terrible in every way, it also reminds us that Jesus did NOT stay dead. His Father called Him out of death and he is still alive today so that we can go to heaven and know Him forever." I squeaked out. "Yeah Mommy...do you think Santa came to our house tonight?" .... =) Ahhhh kids.

2008 was a hell of a year... literally. God has brought us through and I am thankful for His refinement and faithfulness. Here's to 2009 all that is to come!

A Soul's Worth

As Christmas is fast approaching-- seriously...how is it already NEXT week?- festivities are in full swing. Christmas caroling, programs, parties. Busy-ness is the name of the game around these parts. Living in a Chicago suburb has given me a taste of "life in the fast lane". Everyone has somewhere to be, something to do, and of course, no time in which to do it. And then..there's me. My life, though full of activity, has slowed to a snail's pace these days. My weekly outings have become play-dates and grocery shopping as opposed to dinner out, work commitments and trips with friends. Here I am in my cozy home with my 2 beautiful-fun-frustrating-never-dull- daughters, and I am thankful for the peace...albeit a LOUD peace, but yet, there's a great comfort in being here with them and knowing that I GET to do this as opposed to I HAVE to do this. 

Now that Sophia is 5-months old, I have really begun to savor these days of parenting. We're finally sleeping longer stretches and she is weened fully onto the bottle. I can enjoy the preschool stage with Wyndham, and I get to do the chubby-cheeked baby stage again too. I'm really beginning to feel like we are a family. Not that we weren't before of course...but our home is a little fuller, the laundry pile is a little higher (ok- make that a  LOT higher), the laughter is turning into a chorus, the conversation is beginning to flow at the dinner table and I feel like I am OK for once... kind of:)

For me, the maternal instinct has been one I've grown into. Some people just ooze that motherly quality, or are "kid people" from birth...the ones that always seem to know what to do, what to say, the most creative and fun... Even though I've been a teacher for years, not until I had my own children did something inside of me finally click and I understood- THIS is what it is like to love, worry, protect, hope, and fear. It's really not all about me...who knew?

We've been starting some very basic Christmas traditions this year and have taken many cues from the practicing of advent in which to try and stay Christ-focused in this consumeristic culture we live in. It has been great. I look forward to many Christmases ahead God-willing, where we can grow more and more into our worship of Jesus as a family. 

That said, we have been listening to and singing a lot of Christmas music around here. When the girls went down for a nap earlier today, I even got a chance to pull out a long-forgotten song book of Christmas classics and carols and was able to spend  some quality alone time playing, singing and reflecting on all that is Christmas. One of my all-time favorites- O Holy Night, stood out to me today...but in a new and different way. It is a tear-jerker in it's lyrical and melodic content, and is usually sung by people with BIG voices who can really "bring it home". 

This is the line that caught my attention- "Long lay the world in sin and error pining, 'till he appeared and the soul felt it's worth". It's one sentence, but it contains such a deep and meaningful truth. Sin has completely cut us off from God. We see it in the beauty and brokenness of all things. But JESUS CHRIST, as an act of obedience to God the Father and as an expression of love for us, came and wrapped our injured flesh around himself to become the sacrifice that paid the penalty and saved us from the wrath we deserve. His coming brought meaning and purpose and hope and promise to this dying world. God gave our souls worth, and Jesus' coming was a bridge in which to restore the lost relationship...undeservedly...

My beliefs don't make me who I am--Jesus does. Jesus has given me a new life and has is showing me, daily, my worth as a Child of God. It has little to do with my talents, my belongings, my outer-beauty, even my works of service and -- it's all counted as "filthy rags" anyway. The only good in me is simply-- the Holy Spirit. 

As I look at my girls- full of wonder, curiosity, love, and sin... my heart aches for them to someday know and accept Jesus as their Savior.  I pray that through Randy and I and the family dynamic of love, forgiveness and restoration, that we can model Christ in us to them...that they can find their worth in Jesus, and not in outer-beauty, their academic capacities or any other lie the world and Satan tries to whisper. I recently stumbled upon the following quote and it has become my prayer for both girls: "A girl should get so lost in God, that a guy has to seek God to find her!" ~ Dannah Gresh, author.

My 2009 new year's resolution will have nothing to do with weight-loss, becoming an accomplished such-and-such or anything thing that distracts me from my task- to raise up children to know and love God and to help them see that Jesus changes everything. 

He was born to die so that we may live. May we enjoy this Christmas season in light of His truth and share it with those we hold dear. 

PS: A baby changes everything... listen, but make sure to have tissues handy!

 

Book Giveaway!

Trevin Wax of the blog Kingdom People (See sidebar) is giving away a big o' stack of new books. For a chance to win, check out his blog post where he explains how.

39 Lessons, 20 Tips and 10 "Don'ts" For Parenting

As parents and youth ministers, the topic of biblical parenting is on the forefront of our minds each and every day. It is disturbing to see how far the pendulum can swing back and forth when it comes to fads and pop psychology in the parenting arena. 

The newest and most disturbing trend we are seeing is a complete loss of parental authority. The previous generation has grown up with perhaps more of a legalistic/authoritarian approach to parenting which has in turn, created parents who give their children everything and are more concerned with pleasing their children/being their friend and building their "self-esteem" than they are "saving their souls from death" as stated in Proverbs. 

We are currently in a battle with some parents who have made it clear that they don't think it is appropriate for their students to feel like they have to bring their bibles to church, nor that they should have to attend the Sunday morning service with their parents..."they don't like it, and they won't come to church if they have to". Something is utterly wrong with this picture. We're not talking about unbelievers with no spiritual background or training. We're talking about professing Christians and members of the church. Bringing the bible to church is too offensive? They "won't like it" therefore, they shouldn't have to?

I am reminded of how many times I was dragged out of bed to go to church. As it so often happens- hated it then- see the value now. God give authority to parents to train and lead their children just as he has ultimate authority over us. Satan has been working hard on leading us astray in this area. I guess it doesn't take much as pride and authority issues are what compelled Adam and Eve to sin to begin with! 

What to do with all of this? How to stand amidst a culture that is so anti-God and submission to authority that it is even taking over the church? I have been searching for some resources on some of these topics, and I have found quite a few notable ones I'd love to pass on for anyone who is interested. First- a few books- "Shepherding a Child's Heart" by Tedd Tripp, "Don't Make Me Count to Three" by Ginger Plowman (a great book for parents of young children), anything on the Family Life website and program. I also came across the 9 Marks of a Healthy Church website and found the following article. It is quite lengthy, but FULL of meat and potatoes if you know what I'm saying. Let's stand strong and do the hard work of parenting...truly, the most vital job in the world!

39 LESSONS WE'VE LEARNED

By Matt & Elizabeth Schmucker: Lessons About Ourselves

1. To be a faithful steward of your children you must abide in Christ (John 15:5: "I am the vine; you are the branches. If a man remains in me and I in him, he will bear much fruit; apart from me you can do nothing.").
2. "Trickle down theory" – Mom's daily devotion naturally trickles down to encouragement and instruction in the Lord for the children.
3. Not listening to your children causes you to misjudge them (James 1:19-20: "Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry, for man's anger does not bring about the righteous life that God desires").
4. Our task list is not as important as our children's thought life.
5. Preach the gospel of grace, not self-discipline.
6. Being parented is defining; Parenting is refining.
7. You will parent the way you were parented unless you think things through.
8. Parents should become "smaller" as their children become bigger. In other words, a parent should become more transparent in confessing one's sin and in sharing past struggles as children mature. Your children should hear more about your fight for faith as they grow older. Don't be a plastic Christian!
9. Ordinary times make for extraordinary memories.
10. To have children is to need margin in your life.
11. A disreputable life will undermine the gospel. An exemplary life will commend it.

Lessons About Children

12. Little kids need the strength of your youth; older kids need your wisdom (i.e. have children while you're young!).
13. Pack in truth while your children are little and trust the Lord to unpack it in his time.
14. Study your children. Know their "love language."
15. Consistent, loving, faithful discipline brings peace to the home. Inconsistency brings chaos.
16. Do not let your child see their value in light of the world's standards. The world rewards the 3 R's. God delights in the heart that is tuned toward his (Deuteronomy 30:8-10: "You will again obey the Lord and follow all his commands I am giving you today. Then the Lord your God will make you most prosperous in all the work of your hands and in the fruit of your womb, the young of your livestock and the crops of your land. The Lord will again delightin you and make you prosperous, just as he delighted in your fathers, if you obey the Lord your God and keep his commands and decrees that are written in this Book of the Law and turn to the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul").
17. God hands out "talents" to our children. The child with two talents who exercises both may in fact be more pleasing in the eyes of God than the one with five talents who exercises three (Matt. 25). Faithful stewardship is the goal!
18. On some days, it's just fine to accomplish nothing more than keeping your kids fed and safe.
19. Older children need to learn how to care for the weaker among them; doing so smells like Jesus. Matthew 18 reads, "And whoever welcomes a little child like this in my name welcomes me." By contrast, Psalm 10:2 reads, "In his arrogance the wicked man hunts down the weak, who are caught in the schemes he devises."
20. Do not presume you will be able to speak into the lives of your older children if you do not live in their world when they are younger. Play with your children. There is a reap/sow principle at work here (2 Cor. 9:6: "Remember this: Whoever sows sparingly will also reap sparingly, and whoever sows generously will also reap generously").
21. There's nothing wrong with boredom for your children. It causes them to be creative.
22. Send your kids to bed well (and school!) (Eph. 4:26: "In your anger do not sin. Do not let the sun go down while you are still angry").
23. Make sure your kids keep short accounts with each other. Create a culture of care and forgiveness in your home (1 Cor. 13:5: "Love…keeps no record of wrongs").
24. Teach your kids to be shock absorbers, not wave makers (Matt. 5:9: "Blessed are the peacemakers, for they will be called sons of God").
25. Kids can memorize scripture very quickly.
26. Teach your children to notice needs. Teach them to ask, "What can I do to help?" (Phil. 2:3: "Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit, but in humility consider others better than yourselves").
27. Teach your children to look adults in the eyes. It shows respect and recognizes authority.
28. Fight materialism by teaching your children to have a thankful heart (1 Thes. 5:18: "…give thanks in all circumstances, for this is God's will for you in Christ Jesus").
29. Teach your children to receive reproof, correction, and instruction (Prov. 12:15 "The way of a fool seems right to him, but a wise man listens to advice").
30. Let kids be kids. Let them dabble in various areas of extra-curricular activities (sports, art, drama, etc) rather than build a resume.

Lessons About Satan

31. It seems Satan comes into our homes on Sunday mornings in order to make the Lord's Day one of struggle.
32. Do not feel outside pressure to baptize your children. Look for and test for a credible profession of faith in your child (Prov 22:15 "Folly is bound up in the heart of a child…").
33. Satan is a divider and always attacks authority: husband/wife and parent/child. In your home fight for unity around the gospel.
34. For mothers, the "I-can-do-it-all-superwoman" mindset is at best a myth and at worst a lie from hell (Matt. 6:24 "No one can serve two masters. Either he will hate the one and love the other, or he will be devoted to the one and despise the other. You cannot serve both God and Money"; Luke 10:40 "But Martha was distracted by all the preparations that had to be made; verse 41: "Martha, Martha, you are worried and upset about many things, but only one thing is needed. Mary has chosen what is better, and it will not be taken away from her").
35. Beware of sports…on Sundays! Decide while your children are young that you will not allow the growing all-weekend sports phenomenon to usurp your worship (Ex. 20:8 "Remember the Sabbath day by keeping it holy. Six days you shall labor and do all your work, but the seventh day is a Sabbath to the Lord your God").
36. Arm your children for the world, not (necessarily) shield them from it. Consider getting your high-school-aged children out of the Christian bubble.

Lessons About God

37. Prayer is a mighty weapon to use in the life of your children:
    1. It changes the parent's approach to the child
    2. It softens the hard-hearted child
38. God uses children as a mirror to your own heart to expose your sin and hypocrisy.
39. God elects. God saves. Parents cannot do this heart-changing work. At best we can pray and point to the One who can cause our children to be born again.

20 MORE TIPS FOR RAISING GOD-HONORING CHILDREN

1. The saying goes, "When mama ain't happy, ain't nobody happy." We believe daddy is actually the problem. From a complementarian's viewpoint one needs to conclude the above saying with, "And if daddy ain't happy in the Lord, ain't nobody happy."
2. In a stay-at-home-mom scenario, dad tends to back away from discipline when mom has been with the children all day. In one sense this is wise as he has not observed the rhythm and rhyme of the day. However, dad needs to catch up and jump in.
3. Talk to both good and not-so-good parents; you'll learn lessons from both.
4. Talking to really old parents may not prove to be fruitful as their memories fade and they'll remember raising kids as either a nightmare or a glorious experience. Talking to parents 5-10 years ahead of where you are seems most fruitful (Prov. 15:22: "Plans fail for lack of counsel, but with many advisers they succeed").
5. Though you may think this premature, have a vision for being involved spiritually with your grandchildren. This will shape even your parenting.
   • Positive example: Paul writing to Timothy said, "I have been reminded of your sincere faith, which first lived in your grandmother Lois and in your mother Eunice and, I am persuaded, now lives in your also" (2 Tim. 1:5).
   • Negative example: "After that whole generation had been gathered to their fathers, another generation grew up, who knew neither the Lord nor what he had done for Israel" (Judg. 2:10).
6. Let your children see you practicing hospitality and let them participate. This breaks down the selfish tendencies all kids have (Rom. 12:13: "Share with God's people who are in need. Practice hospitality").
7. Unbelievers set up their home for the benefit of themselves. Christians should set up and use their homes for the benefit of their family, the church community, and outsiders (notice the order of this list).

   Supporting verses:

   • "If anyone does not provide for his relatives, and especially for his immediate family, he has denied the faith and is worse than an unbeliever" (1 Tim. 5:8).
   • "Therefore, as we have opportunity, let us do good to all people, especially to those who belong to the family of believers" (Gal. 6:10).

8. If we could do it again, we would not have a television in our home. The television competes with more important things going on in the home. It competes for right thinking in the mind of the child. If you have a television, then watch it with your children (when you can) and play "catch the lies."
9. Our generation of parents encourages children to express themselves and vent all that's on their minds. My parents' generation grew up under the instruction that "Children are to be seen and not heard." Both appear to be out of balance. Proverbs 10:8 says, "The wise in heart accept commands, but a chattering fool comes to ruin." Ephesians 4:29 suggests that the purpose of speech is to the benefit of the listener.
10. You cannot expect younger children to obey if their older siblings do not. Proverbs 10:17 says, "He who heeds discipline shows the way to life, but whoever ignores correction leads others astray."
11. One's conscience is not the same as the Law of the Lord. If conscience is defined as "That inner-voice that acts as a guide as to the rightness or wrongness of a behavior," then your conscience is only as good as your knowledge of God's Word. An informed conscience can be a trustworthy thing ifit is drawing from God's Word, God's Law. An uninformed conscience is incredibly dangerous. Inform your child's conscience by pouring in God's Word.

12. We often speak of a home with the aroma of Christ (peace, hope, forgiveness and love—all for God's glory). Alternatives are homes with the aroma of
    • a bus station—people just passing through
    • a war zone—people fighting all the time
    What does your home smell like?
13. "Moral children" does not equal "Christian children."
14. Do a "sermon review" with your children sometime on Sunday. Have each child recap what he or she learned in Sunday School or "big church" and then help them apply it to their own hearts and trials. Then spend time praying for each other's coming week.
15. Martin Luther said he had the responsibility to be the worship leading pastor in his own home. His home was to be both a school and a church. Fathers, do you have this mindset?
16. The unstated implication of Luther's charge (above) is that fathers need to be present to lead in worship. Being in the house with a Blackberry in hands doesn't count!
17. Don Whitney encourages "brevity, regularity and flexibility" in family worship.
18. Build in your children a global vision of God's work in the world and thereby build a Great commission Mindset. We have found that having a map near to where we eat most of our meals is helpful. Reading from Operation World can inform the entire family of God's work in the world.
19. When children ask for permission to do something, their request can fall into one of several categories: 
    
    
    

    Not Wise / Permissible E.g. out with friends on Sat night	Not Wise / Not Permissible E.g. underage drinking and driving
    Wise / Permissible E.g. excused from family chores to prepare for next day's test	Wise / Not Permissible This problem rarely presents itself. Wants to save money for college but is not working age.

    
    

    The Not Wise / Permissible category is the hardest to deal with. Try to break down the request and sort out in your own mind why you think the request is unwise. Is it your own preference or is it truly unwise? Then encourage them to think through the wisdom of the matter, so that, even if you permit them to do it, they will remember the lesson when things go poorly.

20. Build Godward children.

TOP 10 WAYS TO (WRONGLY) PROVOKE YOUR CHILDREN

• Colossians 3:21: "Fathers [and mothers], do not embitter your children, or they will become discouraged."
• Ephesians 6:4: "Fathers [and mothers], do not exasperate your children; instead, bring them up in the training and instruction of the Lord."

1. Make it a habit to discipline your child while angry.
2. Make it a point to scold your child – especially in public. Mockery and ridicule work well.
3. Deliberately embarrass your child in front of his/her friends. Name calling really gets their attention.
4. Create double standards so that the child never knows who or what to follow.
5. Preach and hold the child to a gospel of self-discipline instead of a gospel of grace. (Note: the Bible presents Pharisees as very unhappy people.)
6. Never admit you're wrong and never ask your children for forgiveness.
7. Inspect your child until you find something wrong. Holding them to an unreachable standard makes this task easier.
8. Judge a fight between your children before you've listened to them.
9. Compare your child to others.
10. Promise your children things early in the day and then don't fulfill the promise.

Parents should provoke their children…in good ways: "And let us consider how we may spur one another on [provoke!] toward love and good deeds" (Heb. 10:24).

Matt & Elizabeth Schmucker are the parents of five children who presently range in ages from 3 to 19. Matt is the executive director of 9Marks and an elder at Capitol Hill Baptist Church in Washington, DC.

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Turkey Day and other goings-on

Here are a few pictures of the girlies from Thanksgiving Day and other fun festivities. 

Note: The Turkey Day pictures were taken PRIOR to the stomach

 flu episode. Sigh... Enjoy!

Wyndham's Preschool class had a Thanksgiving Feast at school. Pastor Zack even came with his special friend, "Iggy"...(too bad I secretly hate wooden puppet people!)

Wyndham's friend, Ailyn, had a birthday party at the Gymnastic Factory. Wyndham even attempted a vault! ;)

Here we see the after-effects of a day at the gym:)