How Deep the Father's Love for Us

How deep the Father's love for us,

How vast beyond all measure

That He should give His only Son

To make a wretch His treasure

How great the pain of searing loss,

The Father turns His face away

As wounds which mar the chosen One,

Bring many sons to glory

Behold the Man upon a cross,

My sin upon His shoulders

Ashamed I hear my mocking voice,

Call out among the scoffers

It was my sin that held Him there

Until it was accomplished

His dying breath has brought me life

I know that it is finished

I will not boast in anything

No gifts, no power, no wisdom

But I will boast in Jesus Christ

His death and resurrection

Why should I gain from His reward?

I cannot give an answer

But this I know with all my heart

His wounds have paid my ransom 

(Lyrics- S.Townsend)

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A friend of mine used to have a plethora of books in her powder room. The books ranged from gossip magazines to other light reading. I always looked forward to excusing myself to "powder my nose" so I could spend a few blissful minutes alone reading books and or magazines that I, more than likely, did not own myself. (As a mom of 2 girls ages 3 and under, I'll take what I can get!). 

My friend always had a stash of the "Chicken Soup for the Soul" books on hand. They have so many versions now, it boggles the mind: Chicken Soup for the Teacher's Soul, Chicken Soup for the Mother's Soul, Chicken Soup for guys named Bob who have estranged Aunts name 'Beverely'... Ok, maybe not the last one, but you get the point! I remember when these books first came out, they were all the rage. I could p-shhaw them to you now, but I would be lying if I said that I think the books are cheesy and pointless. Some of the stories ARE a bit out-there...but a few of them have stuck with me. 

One that stands out to me is the story of a mom who walked in on her toddler hanging over the edge of her baby sister's crib during baby's nap time. The mom, though compelled to rush in so the toddler wouldn't disturb the baby, decided instead to stay behind the half-cracked door and watch what was unfolding. The toddler was whispering to her little sister who was staring up at her with bright eyes. When the mom was finally able to hone in on what the toddler was saying in hushed tones, she caught her breath...The little girl whispered, "Baby, what does God look like? Do you remember, because I'm forgetting...."

I've read it a few times, and each time I read it, something always catches in my throat. Maybe because I can actually imagine stumbling upon my own girls in a similar scene, or maybe because, sometimes....I forget too. Though I wouldn't rely on this story as a sort of doctrinal belief about where and if we exist prior to life on earth, the story has always driven home the idea that it doesn't matter if we know God... there are many times, too many times in our lives, that we forget that we know Him. Life happens- we are here on earth, making decisions, working jobs, having relationships, experiencing struggles, joys, sorrows and yet- where is God? 

The truth is, God is here. Because of our fallen state, we are separated from the very lover of our souls- our Creator, our Redeemer, our Friend. The utter separation of sin leaves us in a pretty sad state. Sure, we can scrape ourselves together, try to pretend that education, careers, parenting, friendships and other distracting things are "enough"...but who are we kidding? When life slows down, or heaven forbid, tragedy strikes, we realize, we are alone. Don't get me wrong, I love Randy, and I love my children...but there are times when life slows just enough to remember that if I didn't have them in my life---what would I have? We weren't meant to live in isolation. Sin has created it. This very fact makes God's grace so amazing. We are destined to live an eternal life of separation and suffering...unless we believe, repent and surrender to the one who has made a way for us....the one who SO loved us, that He gave us His Son. 

I have thought of this a lot lately. Here we are, removed from our families and all that we have known and enjoyed over the last several years of our lives...and I'm struggling. I LOVE being home with my girls, but we don't have family here to really enjoy them ALONGSIDE of us. This new stage of life has been extremely difficult for me to navigate. Perhaps I was born to live in an Amish community, or even grow up in China where generations live together in one house.... or maybe not, but I can definitely see the appeal! We live in a society where we are told to "be all that we can be" and be whatever we want to be when we "grow up". It's no wonder people change their majors an average of 3 times during the course of their college years. Aren't we all longing for identity, love, relationship...that place to belong? 

Perhaps the identity that we are really struggling to find isn't who we are in the "world", what kind of job we are supposed to have, etc....but a creation of God- an image-bearer who, by Jesus' sacrifice, has an eternal identity. We long to love and be loved in return.

Have you ever experienced loss or sorrow, or disappointment? If we, in our fallen human state, experience earthly pains, trials, etc...if we are able to experience human love- love for friends, family, souses and children, imagine how God our Father views us?

I John 4 reminds us: 9 In this the love of God was made manifest among us, that God sent his only Son into the world, so that we might live through him. 10 In this is love, not that we have loved God but that he loved us and sent his Son to be the propitiation for our sins.

How easy it is to forget this. God loves US. Because of His love for us, we are able to know and abide in Him. It's not by merit, by works or anything else. This is really what is meant by the term "Amazing Grace". His love and grace are what ENABLE us to love Him to begin with. No more pain, no more sorrow, no more isolation...no more sin.

Randy went to a Pastor's Conference last spring in Cleveland. It was hosted at Parkside church in Cleveland under the ministry of Allistair Begg. The theme was "Preaching the Gospel to Yourself Everyday". What a concept. Pastors, of all people, preaching to...themselves?? It is SO true! We need to be reminded DAILY of who God is, what He has done for us, and who we are in relation to these facts. This is what makes attending church so very important. We need to hear the Word of God preached. We need the Gospel- the TRUE Gospel presented, and we need to be amidst a loving community of believers who can REMIND us of these things. 

I haven't arrived. I feel like I am just now scratching the surface, even after 28 years of life, most of which was spent in church and christian school. Have you forgotten? Let God speak to you through His Word today. Call up a friend or loved one and remind them of what we are living for and Who made that possible. 

If My Words Abide in You

John 15:1 “I am the true vine, and my Father is the vinedresser. 2 Every branch in me that does not bear fruit he takes away, and every branch that does bear fruit he prunes, that it may bear more fruit.3 Already you are clean because of the word that I have spoken to you. 4 Abide in me, and I in you. As the branch cannot bear fruit by itself, unless it abides in the vine, neither can you, unless you abide in me.5 I am the vine; you are the branches. Whoever abides in me and I in him, he it is that bears much fruit, for apart from me you can do nothing. 6 If anyone does not abide in me he is thrown away like a branch and withers; and the branches are gathered, thrown into the fire, and burned. 7 If you abide in me, and my words abide in you, ask whatever you wish, and it will be done for you. 8 By this my Father is glorified, that you bear much fruit and so prove to be my disciples. 9 As the Father has loved me, so have I loved you. Abide in my love. 10 If you keep my commandments, you will abide in my love, just as I have kept my Father's commandments and abide in his love. 11 These things I have spoken to you, that my joy may be in you, and that your joy may be full.

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This past weekend, Randy and I attended a "Connection Seminar" at our church. The Seminar is supposed to serve 2 purposes: give thorough detail on the beliefs, structure and ministries at the church, as well as map out what it means and what is required for those wishing to become members. We figured that it was about time that we took this seminar as we are staff members and have been attended the church for 6 months now. 

Everything was extremely organized and orderly. Each of us received a nice packaged booklet containing documents, belief statement, charts, graphs, etc. As the leadership began presenting all of the information, it became painfully obvious that there were many people in the room that still had a lot of questions, not necessarily about the church, but more, about their own salvation and faith. 

We read the above scripture from John. The NIV translation uses the word "Remain" instead of the word "Abide" as shown above. This word really disturbed one of the ladies in the room. What does it mean to "remain in Christ"? She asked if she didn't read her bible, or if he didn't pray X amount of times, if she was still "remaining" in Christ. It became clear that she had a skewed view of her own salvation and probably needs a healthy serving of  grace and growth with a side of eternal security. She went on to speak about being involved in church, and it seemed that she basically has a works-based view of salvation. 

The leadership had a difficult time answering her questions and pointing her to supportive scripture and resources. Everyone was squirming in their seats as an answer was given, but not an articulate definitive answer laying out the basic precepts of the Gospel. I was a little disturbed. These are basic questions that I think a lot of people have about Christ and faith. Why wasn't the answer on the tip of our tongues? Why was pertinent and meaningful scripture ready to fall out of our mouths at any moment to provide clarity, encouragement and peace?

As the seminar went on, a great deal of time was spent looking at the structure of the church and all of the many opportunities that one could get involved with once they were members. One of the requirements for membership is Baptism-- either a previous Baptism, or a public one at our church. A nice woman next to me immediately raised her hand and asked if Baptism had to be a "public proclamation". She went on to say that she thought that one's relationship with Jesus was "personal" and that it didn't seem to make sense that people would be forced to be Baptized publicly. 

Here again, we had a situation where someone, who is sincerely wanting to understand, sincerely wanting to be taught, and no one had a definitive biblically saturated answer for her.... Another passage talks about being "blameless" before the world. She asked about this wording as well as the word "blameless" seemed to indicate "perfection" in her mind. Was she supposed to be "perfect" in order to be a good testimony to the world? No one had an answer ready...in fact, one of the leadership awkwardly turned to Randy and said, "Randy, could you elaborate on this for us?" Thankfully, Randy had an answer waiting- (Thank the Lord).... the word "blameless" in the NIV is translated as "holy, righteous, or set-apart" in other bibles- Not perfect, but the idea leading a life above reproach. 

I share this story not as a dig against anyone in our church, but more as a wake-up call to us all. Is God's Word really a "lamp unto our feet and a light unto our paths?". Perhaps technology has really diminished our need to read or memorize. All we have to do is go to Google and voila! The answer we need! Do we really think that just because we once said a "prayer" that we are all set, and have no need to grow and learn? Our theology is "all set" and we're fine. I submit that the answer to these questions is a loud "NO!". If you had to lay out a statement of faith of of your own- what would it look like?

Even Jesus Himself had to learn, study and mediate on God's Word. Luke 2:52 says that "Jesus increased in wisdom and in stature and in favor with God and man." There is no doubt that Jesus Himself studies the Scriptures. What was Jesus' defense in the wilderness when Satan came to tempt Him? God's WORD. Every response Jesus gave to Satan in this hour of weakness was straight from scripture. 

Randy and I have recently discovered the ministry of John Piper. He is a Pastor/Author/Theologian in Minneapolis, MN. He is a respected for His Biblical preaching and teaching, and we have been blessed through sermons, books and blogs. He recently gave a sermon of the same title, "If My Words Abide in You". Click the link to be taken to a page where you can either read his outline or listen/watch the podcast. I would HIGHLY recommend getting a hot cup of something yummy, and taking the time to sit down and take in this message. I have listen to it upwards of 3 complete times now. 

Here are some highlights from this message to wet your appetite:

8 Reasons memorizing scripture is essential for every Christian: (MS=Memorizing Scripture)

1. MS makes meditation possible when you aren't able to tangibly read the Bible, and it brings deeper understanding.

2. MS strengthens our faith, and faith comes from hearing the Word.

3. MS shapes our view of the world and conforms our minds to God's viewpoint.

4. MS helps scripture to be readily accessible to overcoming temptation and sin.

5. MS guards our minds and makes it easier to detect error- and the world has MUCH error.

6. MS helps us hit the devil in the face with a force he can't resist. 

7. MS provides the strongest and sweetest words for ministering to other in need.

8. MS provides the matrix for fellowship with Jesus. He talks to us in the Word, and no where else. We can talk back through prayer. 

The Bible is a BIG DEAL. 

We read the Bible so it can TAKE ROOT and bear the fruit of faith and holiness. We don't memorize or know the Word because we are like the Pharisees who know every Word by rote, but have not the Spirit in their hearts. The Word should be at home in our heart because of our belief and the work of the Spirit.

Jesus, in talking with the Jews, spoke out about having the Word in our hearts in John 5: 45 But because I tell the truth, you do not believe me. 46 Which one of you convicts me of sin? If I tell the truth, why do you not believe me? 47 Whoever is of God hears the words of God. The reason why you do not hear them is that you are not of God.”

May this NEVER be said of us. May the Word to be us as "Honey from the comb". May we be ready "in season and out" to proclaim Christ to others. We don't always have to go searching for those that need to hear....just look to your right and to your left each Sunday morning.... look in the mirror.... The mission field is all around is. May 2009 be the year we are transformed by the very Words of God and may the Spirit grant us clarity and courage to proclaim it.

S my name is Sophie

It's hard to believe that Sophia is 6 1/2 months now. With Wyndham at such a busy and active age, I feel like I woke up one day and Sophie was 4 months...then 5, and so on. I am so thankful that have been able to stay home with the girls thus far. Thou

gh I feel the day to day exhaustion of being "on my own" and away from family help, I am having a great time having a front row seat to these amazing creatures who are growing up before my very eyes. 

Since we now live in the Windy City and have had limited contact with close friends and family these last several months, I thought I would give you some details of our little Sophie's history, personality, quirks and habits. 

1. Sophie made her appearance exactly 2 weeks before her due date, and nearly was born in our mini-van on the way to the hospital!

(Sophie- 4 hours old)

2. When we were leaving the hospital after Sophie was born, an elderly man was waiting outside the entryway at the hospital. We had this doll (see below) tucked in next to her in the car seat. Randy went to get the car to pick us up. In the process of getting our van loaded, the man looked down into the car seat and said, "Oh look. Twins!" His wife elbowed him hard in the gut and said, "One of those is a doll Reggie!". He did a double take ju

st to make sure:) I had to laugh that this man would mistake a doll with thread for eyes with a human being....not to mention, why would we have 2 babies in one car seat??? :)

(Sophie at 3 months)

3. Sophie is a CHUNK. She has dimples on her cheeks, her hands, her buns....her dimples have dimples! Though she is still only in the 50th percentile for height and weight, she has about 3 chins and 5 leg rolls...per leg. Because of the absolute adorableness of this trait, I spend most of my  days smooching her checks and doing half-naked dances in front of the bathroom mirror....Sophie....not me =)

(Fat Baby in a little hat....)

4. She has been making babbling noises since she was 3 weeks old. All 

babies make noises of course, but it seems that she was born talking....could it be she will take after mommy?? By 5 weeks she was saying "deedeedee dadadadada and neenees".... WAY earlier than Wyn.... at least from what I can remember! She also makes her noises with vocal inflection, so you really get a sense she is telling you something specific. Can't wait to see how that trait unfolds.

5. She has "BaBa-dar"...Bottle Radar. If there is a bottle in the room, full, empty, in the dish drying rack- she will spot and and yell "Ahhhh Ahhhh" until we either move it out of sight, or oblige her with a warm meal. She is like a baby bird, wiggling around with her mouth open, leaning in trying to find the source of food. Very intense...and hilarious.

6. Her nicknames include the following: Sophie Sue, Stinky Sue, Soph, Fifi, and Chunky Soup...(see #2)

7. Sophie loves LOVES loves Wyndham. She is fa

scinated by her. No matter how loud, crazy or dangerous Wyndham is acting around her, Sophia finds her to be HILARious. Thankfully, Wyndham has been great with her up to this point and at has been such a pleasure watching their sisterhood unfold. 

(Christmas 2008)

8. Due to her sturdy tree trunk legs, she has been able to stand up with assistance for months. 

9. She has become a "spitter" like Wyndham. Record so far: 4 clothing changes in 15 minutes....not including mine! So sad. She didn't start until around 4-5 months, but it's in full swing now! 

10. She is a thumb-sucker. She has never liked binkies.... ever. Somew

here around 3 months, she found her thumb and it has been in her mouth ever since. She actually hooks her pointer finger over her nose while she's sucking on it. I think it's adorable, but have begun to worry that it will be harder for her to give 

up than a binkie would be...you can't throw your thumb away! Our doctor has assured us that's it's too early to worry...just yet....

(Sophie at 3 months)

11. She can roll over, prop herself up on her hands and elbows, sit up

 for a bit with no assistance (though about 99% of the time she ends up puking when she's in this position and then toppling over INTO it ;0), stand up with assistance, bounce and hop on her legs and feet and suck her toes...her 2nd favorite thing to have in her mouth. Man that's flexibility!

12. She has a bald spot on the back of her head. She's had it since she was a few weeks old, and even though she sleeps between her back and her side, it's like the Sahara desert back there...nothing grows. 

13. All of the other toddlers in the nursery line up to "rub Sophie's head" each Sunday morning. It's this weird ritual that several of the nursery workers have told me about... someone likened it to "rubbing a Buddha belly"...maybe it brings them all good luck?! 

14. She was born with bright WIDE attentive eyes. When Randy and I talk to each other, we've noticed that she looks at us back and forth depending on who is talking. We've literally stopped mid-conversation only to realize that someone has been quietly hanging on our every word.

I can't wait until she starts talking so I can hear what's going on in that brain of hers! 

15. No teeth have appeared yet, but I can see the beginning of 2 slits on her lower gums. I can't wait until she finally gets some teeth, because the way she acts around our dinner table, you'd think the girl wanted to eat steak!

This is just a small snapshot of our newest little member. She brings us all much joy. Not one day has passed when I haven't raced Randy to open her nursery door in the morning only to be greeted by her cute, dimply, gummy smile. We hope you can meet her soon!

Oh...and I almost forgot. She now HATES the bouncy seat. If I forget to strap her in so I can run across the room to do something, this is how I find her.... I think it's about time to retire the chair!

O Me of Little Faith

A couple of weeks ago, Randy and I were itching to get out of our snow-encased home and longing to go to one of our favorite spending-time-together places- Borders bookstore. I love good books, good chai and being together so this was a fun prospect. As of late, it has been easier and easier to go to Borders as a family and actually enjoy our time together there. Randy and I each pick out a few selections we're interested in, grad a cup o' joe, and head to the children's section where Wyndham busies herself with her own book selection. If Sophie is fed and content, we may even get a whole blissful hour in which to enjoy the luxury of being out of the house all together. 

Call it the terrible threes, call it the result of Christmas vacation, call it what you will...but Wyndham has been giving us a run for our money lately in the behavior department. Sassiness, flat out defiance, rudeness, throwing fits... you name it. Three has been such a jumble of wonderful frustration, it will definitely be one for the history books.

On this particular day, Wyndham was being her typical self-- dilly-dallying around the house while we scrambled to pack bags, bundle bodies, scrape cars and get out of the house before it was pointless to venture out at all. It was one of those days where she kept conveniently morphing into various jungle animals to escape putting on her clothes all while getting every baby blanket out of Sophie's dresser in which to create her jungle home. This of course, is taking place while the car is running in the driveway, Soph is in her car seat wailing because she's not in a moving car and Randy, headphones engulfling his hearing, is absorbed in Ipod-land. I have successfully directed hundreds of students over the years, but do you think I can get my family of four out of the door on time for anything? It's next to impossible!

Spousal communication is so important when making these family outings together. Especially to a place like Borders where I could easily get sucked in for hours. We have to remember that we have kids with us and we must set our expectations very--VERY low. Maybe we will just get coffee and play with Wyn in the kids section on a particular day, though casting a wistful gaze at the endless shelves of books that will have to wait a few more years to read. This day was different in that I was looking for a particular book for someone and needed some alone time in which to comb the store and find it. Randy graciously obliged me and took kid-duty in the children's section while I got to wander the store for a few minutes and savor the quiet.

Borders isn't my favorite store to browse for good Christian literature, but I always breeze through the section anyway. I picked up Lee Strobel's classic, "A Case for Faith" and flipped through it a bit. A family in our church has a student who is claiming to be an atheist, and his parents are trying to convince him to read some books with them that might shed some light on some of the things he is struggling with. My mind immediately went to our present situation here in IL. We have been pretty financially strapped these past few months as we have been trying to cover our mortgage back in OH while also covering our rent here. Every month has been a test of faith to see how it will come together. By God's grace, we have paid our bills and haven't missed a meal, but it has definitely been a daily giving-over-to-the- Lord. As I pondered these things, I began to think of how, for the first time in my life, I've really had to live by faith and not by sight. I have been really reflecting on giving over my whole self, my hopes dreams, etc. to God's will and to the furthering of the Gospel....lost in my thoughts, I finally snapped to and realized I should rescue Randy and give him some browsing time too.

I made my way back to the kids section and waded through the enormous pile of books Wyndham had managed to stack up in my absence. We gave Wyn some clean-up instructions and began the long process of trying to put the books back where they actually belonged. Wyndham was not too keen on the prospect of leaving and began to protest LOUDLY. She wanted to put every book back BY HERSELF she informed us. We told her that we would ALL join the effort and that it was time to go. As Randy and I stood back and admired the newly cleaned floor, we looked around and realized that Wyndham was nowhere to be found. Thinking that she was just around the corner or hiding in the puppet tree, we began the half-hearted effort of calling out for her..."Wyndham? Wyndham? Come here, it's time to go".

When she didn't immediately appear, we once again began an annoyed scan of the kids area, expecting to hear giggling and see her streaking through the displays to "hide" from us. Sophia began to fuss as I strapped her in the car seat and Randy began to walk around in search of Wyndham. When Randy came back with a panicked look on his face, my stomach immediately dropped. Where did she go?

She was definitely not anywhere near the children's area anymore and we began exploring surrounding sections hoping she wasn't far. We looked for a few minutes and couldn't find a trace, nor was she responding  to her name being called out. As panic rose, so did my blood pressure. I broke out into an immediate sweat as my pace picked up. We looked around the entire store a few times and still had no sign of her. All of the sudden, every single male in the store became my enemy...a potential predator who had perhaps watched our sweet little girl bouncing around the store waiting for the right moment....

Not long after, the prayers began...first internally, and then aloud as the store began spinning around us. People began to stare as our yelling got louder, "Wyndham! Wyndham Grace!" All in a matter of seconds I was  retreating from a moment of peace about "how much faith I had"to taking everything back. I can leave my family, my job, my home for you God, but if something happens to her, this might be it. I'm finished.  I won't, I can't survive this. Visions of police, an investigations, years of mourning began seeping in as I pleaded with God while ignoring the curious and sympathetic stares from others. 

Many minutes had passed now, and just as my breathing began to reach a fevered pitch, Randy stopped dead in his tracks and ran down a narrow aisle in the music section. Wyndham was perched on a small step-stool in the corner with her chin in her hands pouting. All the emotions that I had been trying to keep zip-locked in came bursting out as I grabbed her little body and sobbed. I yelled, cried...I'm not even sure what happened. Once the fear began to dispel, my anger came out full-force. We lectured Wyndham about running away, giving her a three-point sermon on "strangers and tricky people". We told her that as soon as we got home, she would have to have a "pat on her buns"...a HARD one. She finally broke and cried about how she had wanted to clean up "by herself", but we did it for her anyway and how she was "so mad". 

We scooped her up and brisked past a few onlookers on our way to the car. It took me quite a while to settle down from this scare. My adrenaline was coursing for at least an hour to follow. I felt like I needed to go run a few miles to work it off! After the girls were in bed that night, Randy and I exchanged stories of what was racing through our minds those few yet long minutes in the store. I admitted, embarrassingly, how my "rock solid" faith and heartfelt commitment to God had flown out of the window in a matter of a moment. How fickle I am! Now, giving myself some room, I know that I truly love God... but what a reminder of how much I have yet to grow.  Though my first reaction was to throw myself at His mercy, how quickly I withdrew my commitment and devotion the longer we searched that store. 

I once heard someone say that "if your faith can't survive tragedy, than your faith isn't surviving". The truth is, just like my rebellious yet wonderful preschooler, I need discipline. The only way your faith can grow is if you are put into situations that require you to use it to begin with. How thankful I am that others before me demonstrated faith. From Joseph to Abraham, from Rahab to Mary... all ordinary people living out their convictions and devotion. How thankful I am that God is faithful to His Word. Regardless of what would or could have happened that fateful day in Borders, God stays constant despite my inconsistency. How amazing and humbling it is to be a parent and perhaps taste what Our Father might feel when we turn not to Him, but instead to ourselves. 

Deuteronomy 7:9 says, "Know therefore that the LORD your God is God; he is the faithful God, keeping his covenant of love to a thousand generations of those who love him and keep his commands." This wonderful promise, was written to the Israelites who don't have a great history of staying faithful to God either.

Sadly, faith isn't something that comes easily, or quickly. It's a lifelong process. One that is never finished. Ask anyone who is above the age of 70 and they will tell you that one could live a thousand years and never perfect their faith. Thankfully, there is hope. Jesus made a way for us to bridge the gap. We can live in peace and hope knowing that penalty has been paid and restoration awaits.

Revelations 21:1-7 paints a vivid picture of our future ahead--"And God shall wipe away all tears from their eyes; and there shall be no more death, neither sorrow, nor crying, neither shall there be any more pain: for the former things are passed away. And He that sat upon the throne said, Behold, I make all things new....And he said unto me, It is done. I am Alpha and Omega, the beginning and the end. I will give unto him that is a thirst of the fountain of the water of life freely. He that overcometh shall inherit all things; and I will be his God, and he shall be my son."

The world as we know it, a world in which we must live by faith, will soon be replaced with a world in which we can dwell with Him for all of eternity---in a relationship--- face to face. There will be no question that there is a God. "Every knee will bow and every tongue will confess that He is Lord".... I am anxiously awaiting this day. 

In the meantime, may we all fix our eyes on Jesus, the author and perfecter of our faith...." (Hebrews 12:2)

Our Merry Little Christmas-2008

I have taken a "holiday" from blogging as we have been busy visiting with family friends these last 2 weeks. Since we have been traveling quite a bit this year, we decided to stay here in IL for the Holidays and just .....be....ahhhh. 

The week before Christmas we were happy to welcomed our friends John and Kim Hoerger to our home all the way from Minerva OH! They made their way through treacherous weather to see us. Now THAT'S devotion! We had a great time corrupting their country ways:) They attended church with us on Sunday, and we even got to show them around Chicago a bit before enjoying some traditional deep dish pizza together. Mmmmm...They are like family to us and we are thankful we could share several nights talking, sharing coffee and praying together. 

Family Christmas :)

The Sunday before Christmas, Wyn's preschool class was featured during the service singing "Who Was There that First Christmas Day?". Due to 2 service times and it being so close to Christmas, there weren't a lot of kids there, but we still had no problem hearing Wyndham:)

On Christmas Eve, we went sledding with church friends insub-zero weather. We were out about 2 minutes and Wyndham was already purple! We thawed out and attended a beautiful Christmas Eve service at our church that  night. It was PACKED. Randy was involved in the entire service, so I had to field the girls by myself in the sanctuary as it was a family service with no child care provided. Wyndham sang every song with gusto! A little too much gusto though... at one point as she fell off of her chair during Angels We Have Heard on High. Oops! 

Following the service, one of the elders and his family invited us over for snacks and conversation. This was the first Christmas I have ever spent away from family, but I have to say, it was nice. It was nice being in someone's home and sharing in the community of their family for once. Though wistful for my own, I was grateful for the thoughtfulness of being included. 

While we were away, apparently. good ol' Saint Nick visited out house. Albeit a bit early, but we figured he had a lot of houses to reach so coming early was A-OK with us. 

Santa's Christmas Eve gift? Matching jammies:)

Christmas Day was gorgeous. The sun shone brightly and danced off of the snow. I was even able to take a Christmas Day run-- with sunglasses of course. We exchanged family gifts with one another and lazed and lounged in our jammies until afternoon. Randy gifted me with an Ipod nano and some running software to go along with it to encourage me as I have committed to running a few races this spring- a 5K in February, an 8K in March and a half-marathon in May. I feel so "professional" with my Ipod and spiffy shoes. 

One of Wyndham's Favorite Gifts- her OWN digital camera. (Thank God!)

Another gift fave? A Lite Brite...I'm jealous =)

A family from our church invited us over for Christmas Dinner and we were happy to oblige! The couple has a 5-year old son who is also in Wyndham's preschool class so Wyn was delighted to celebrate Christmas Day with friends. This couple has a heart for community and invited a few other families who are either new to the area or didn't have any family in town as well. One couple (whose son is also in Wyn's class) just relocated here from South Africa. They are the sweetest people. It's so refreshing to know people from a different culture. They brought over roasted lamb and some other delicious South African treats. My mouth was in HEAVEN. 

Some of the kiddos and a Birthday Cake for Jesus

We had a day or two to recover from our festivities before my parents came down for the week to visit us as well. There is just something about being with the people who know you best that is such a comfort. Grandma and Auntie signed Wyndham up for a "Fairytale Ballet" class that begins this Thursday. I am excited to get Wyn involved in something this winter as being house-bound is the PITS. One of her little friends from school just moved to Germany, so Im hoping that this will serve as a great distraction for her. 

(I love the crazy levitating underpant picture:)

Randy hosted a New Years event at church for youth and their familes. My parents and I went over to the church for a while until bedtime approached. Randy rang in the new year with students, while my mom and dad and I toasted 2009 in our little duplex around the corner. It just goes to show- traditions are great- but family-people, are what really make the memories.  

There were many memorable moments these past several weeks, but the one that will resonate with me for years to come came on Christmas Eve- Wyndham and one of her pre-school friends Ailyn were playing on the stage following the churchservice. Apparently, they decided it would be fun to climb in and out of the manger that was still placed precariously in the middle of the stage. Seeing what they were doing, I approached them on the stage and talked to them about having respect for God's house and the manger because it was very special. Wyndham proceeded to turn to her friend and say, "Yeah Aiylyn. This manger is SPECIAL." Then she turned to me and said, "Mommy, I have to show you something really terrible. It's this way" and she grabbed my hand and led me to the back of the stage. 

There is a large wooden cross hanging on the wall as a backdrop to the stage. She stopped in front of it, pointed up and said, "Look mommy. It's terrible." My eyes immediately welled up with tears as I said,"Why is it terrible Wyndham?" "Because they killded Jesus on the cross". Looking around at the nearly empty sanctuary, I wanted to shout for joy and emotion as our 3-year old daughter recognized one of the most precious symbols of our faith. "But you know what Wyn? Even though the cross WAS terrible in every way, it also reminds us that Jesus did NOT stay dead. His Father called Him out of death and he is still alive today so that we can go to heaven and know Him forever." I squeaked out. "Yeah Mommy...do you think Santa came to our house tonight?" .... =) Ahhhh kids.

2008 was a hell of a year... literally. God has brought us through and I am thankful for His refinement and faithfulness. Here's to 2009 all that is to come!

A Soul's Worth

As Christmas is fast approaching-- seriously...how is it already NEXT week?- festivities are in full swing. Christmas caroling, programs, parties. Busy-ness is the name of the game around these parts. Living in a Chicago suburb has given me a taste of "life in the fast lane". Everyone has somewhere to be, something to do, and of course, no time in which to do it. And then..there's me. My life, though full of activity, has slowed to a snail's pace these days. My weekly outings have become play-dates and grocery shopping as opposed to dinner out, work commitments and trips with friends. Here I am in my cozy home with my 2 beautiful-fun-frustrating-never-dull- daughters, and I am thankful for the peace...albeit a LOUD peace, but yet, there's a great comfort in being here with them and knowing that I GET to do this as opposed to I HAVE to do this. 

Now that Sophia is 5-months old, I have really begun to savor these days of parenting. We're finally sleeping longer stretches and she is weened fully onto the bottle. I can enjoy the preschool stage with Wyndham, and I get to do the chubby-cheeked baby stage again too. I'm really beginning to feel like we are a family. Not that we weren't before of course...but our home is a little fuller, the laundry pile is a little higher (ok- make that a  LOT higher), the laughter is turning into a chorus, the conversation is beginning to flow at the dinner table and I feel like I am OK for once... kind of:)

For me, the maternal instinct has been one I've grown into. Some people just ooze that motherly quality, or are "kid people" from birth...the ones that always seem to know what to do, what to say, the most creative and fun... Even though I've been a teacher for years, not until I had my own children did something inside of me finally click and I understood- THIS is what it is like to love, worry, protect, hope, and fear. It's really not all about me...who knew?

We've been starting some very basic Christmas traditions this year and have taken many cues from the practicing of advent in which to try and stay Christ-focused in this consumeristic culture we live in. It has been great. I look forward to many Christmases ahead God-willing, where we can grow more and more into our worship of Jesus as a family. 

That said, we have been listening to and singing a lot of Christmas music around here. When the girls went down for a nap earlier today, I even got a chance to pull out a long-forgotten song book of Christmas classics and carols and was able to spend  some quality alone time playing, singing and reflecting on all that is Christmas. One of my all-time favorites- O Holy Night, stood out to me today...but in a new and different way. It is a tear-jerker in it's lyrical and melodic content, and is usually sung by people with BIG voices who can really "bring it home". 

This is the line that caught my attention- "Long lay the world in sin and error pining, 'till he appeared and the soul felt it's worth". It's one sentence, but it contains such a deep and meaningful truth. Sin has completely cut us off from God. We see it in the beauty and brokenness of all things. But JESUS CHRIST, as an act of obedience to God the Father and as an expression of love for us, came and wrapped our injured flesh around himself to become the sacrifice that paid the penalty and saved us from the wrath we deserve. His coming brought meaning and purpose and hope and promise to this dying world. God gave our souls worth, and Jesus' coming was a bridge in which to restore the lost relationship...undeservedly...

My beliefs don't make me who I am--Jesus does. Jesus has given me a new life and has is showing me, daily, my worth as a Child of God. It has little to do with my talents, my belongings, my outer-beauty, even my works of service and -- it's all counted as "filthy rags" anyway. The only good in me is simply-- the Holy Spirit. 

As I look at my girls- full of wonder, curiosity, love, and sin... my heart aches for them to someday know and accept Jesus as their Savior.  I pray that through Randy and I and the family dynamic of love, forgiveness and restoration, that we can model Christ in us to them...that they can find their worth in Jesus, and not in outer-beauty, their academic capacities or any other lie the world and Satan tries to whisper. I recently stumbled upon the following quote and it has become my prayer for both girls: "A girl should get so lost in God, that a guy has to seek God to find her!" ~ Dannah Gresh, author.

My 2009 new year's resolution will have nothing to do with weight-loss, becoming an accomplished such-and-such or anything thing that distracts me from my task- to raise up children to know and love God and to help them see that Jesus changes everything. 

He was born to die so that we may live. May we enjoy this Christmas season in light of His truth and share it with those we hold dear. 

PS: A baby changes everything... listen, but make sure to have tissues handy!

 

Book Giveaway!

Trevin Wax of the blog Kingdom People (See sidebar) is giving away a big o' stack of new books. For a chance to win, check out his blog post where he explains how.